Bow ties are cool.

Dream Castles

2012-01-31T17:13:00.000-08:00

They're always so far away, the castles. I can never get to them. It's always night, and I can only just see their spires outlined against the stars. Or it's day, but there's fog all around me and when the wind picks up I catch a glimpse of towers silhouetted against the whiteness, far away. Or maybe I simply can't see that far; it's like a video game, when mountains in the distance seem to be a solid purple-grey, just shapes against the sky. Just purple-grey towers, so far away that I can barely make them out. That's how they appear to me in my dreams.

As soon as I see it, so far away I can never reach it but just close enough that I need to try, I'm filled with this inexplicable longing. It tugs at my heart and I can hardly breathe, because I need to go there. I need to be where the spires are, far away, where it's beautiful -- I know it's beautiful. I need to go there but it's so far away, and there are forests and valleys and mountains in between. It's such a long way to go.

When I wake up I feel cheated, I feel loss. I never find them, and I try, I try so hard. I remember standing on the shore of a still dark lake, fireflies dancing above me, and I saw the city rising on the other side of the water, a black bristling creature. And right at the top of it, tall and buttressed, waiting for me, was the castle. Lights were on inside. Tiny golden pin-pricks in the night, the castle and its city, so far across that lake. How could I ever make it there? I wanted so badly to go inside, to gaze up at the tall stained glass windows, to hear my voice echo in its grand halls.

But I never will. I never do. I see them so often, the faraway castles, but I never find my way to them. They're never within reach. And every time it hurts just as much as the first.

(image sources: 1, 2)

Rooftop Sky

2012-01-17T08:50:00.000-08:00

I was heating up some instant rice in the kitchen, and noticed that the sky was really pretty. I've been meaning to take some photos from out on the roof, our weird little balcony deck that we've got going on outside our kitchen (it's basically a roof), so I figured today was the day. They're nothing too exciting, but I love the kind of gross, grungy look of my neighborhood. I live in Walthamstow, which is in the borough of Waltham Forest in East London. It's more Northeast than anything, but the postcode says East, so whatever.

I kind of wish I smoked, just so I'd have an excuse to regularly go out on the roof and listen to the doves. There's a really loud dove that lives outside my window, or near some kind of vent opening, because I hear it really clearly and it is cooing all the time. I have a love/hate relationship with that dove, but I think I'd be sad if it went away.

So yeah, this is where I live. I'll try to post some better photos of my room soon, and maybe soon I'll take the camera 'round to the Walthamstow market, which I hear is all right.

My Bed

2012-01-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

So this is where I spend about 95% of my time, i.e. my bed. And the bedside table. I mean I don't spend time on the bedside table, but it's included in the whole ensemble. Notice all the healthy snacks and empty Diet Coke bottle going on there. I am not a neat person, nor am I very healthy. Let's just get that out of the way. I sit in bed, drink diet soda, and eat cookies and cheese biscuits all day long. While watching Sherlock and Doctor Who. It's glorious and sad.

Anyway I'm a bit tipsy, I've had 2 pints of Strongbow and was intoxicated enough to eat a chicken quesadilla even though it was spicy, but I was super hungry okay? And yes, 2 pints of anything will get me loose and happy. I'm that small, and I don't eat a lot. Stop judging me!

I don't know why I thought I needed to update right now, as it's 1:23 in the AM, but here you go. Enjoy. I have Doctor Who pictures on my wall.

Edinburgh Part 2

2012-01-10T15:19:00.000-08:00

And here is your Scottish bagpiper, everyone! I'm super stoked about him. I took a bunch of photos of him that turned out to be really awful except this one, and then I emptied my coin purse into his case. Yeah, I'm a total BAMF, emptying coin purses into bagpipers' cases all over the place. I like to support the busking industry. It really stimulates the economy. In all seriousness though, if you see a street performer who actually entertains you or makes you smile, even if it's just for a second, you should probably give them some of your pocket change, if not more. I completely admire talented buskers, not only for their courage in going out there to play for the masses, but also because of their talent -- which is clearly going unappreciated if they have to busk to make money. Just saying. What a dreadfully boring paragraph.

So these photos are all from my second day in Edinburgh, most of which was spent at the Royal Botanical Gardens. I really, really enjoyed the Botanical Gardens. If you've never been to such a thing, I suggest you try it! They're really calming and beautiful, plus you learn about crazy plants from all over the world. Win/win situation right there. My favorite bit was the glass houses, but my favorite room, the rain foresty one, was so warm and moist that it fogged up my camera lens and I wasn't able to get any decent photos in there. Boo! You'll just have to imagine lots of thick hanging moss, curling ferns, and the slow drip-drip of condensation falling from the tips of leaves to the mossy floor. I liked it.

And finally, I'd like to draw your attention to some pretty cool cars I saw on our walk back to the city center from the Botanical Gardens. I saw two minis parked near each other and I had no choice but to photograph them, because if you combine the two cars pictured, you get my dream car. Retro mini, British racing green. Bam. Then we saw this badass grey hulking thing, lookin' all retro and stuff. So I had to photograph its beautiful visage.

I didn't used to give half a shit about cars, but ever since I became hopelessly addicted to Top Gear, I've grown fond of the gas-guzzling, environment-destroying things. This is probably due to some strange subconscious and Anglophilia-related need to please Clarkson, May, and Hammond, but until a therapist tells me to stop, I'm gonna love them up like the hilarious assholes that they are. Who else loves Top Gear? You know you do. I feel like everybody in the UK feels nothing but searing hatred towards Jeremy Clarkson and his minions, but in America we don't care about political correctness, common decency, or the planet. So the boys are totally welcome in the States any time they'd like to have a visit. We don't care.

Edinburgh Part 1

2012-01-06T15:52:00.000-08:00

"Yes! Finally! Photos from Edinburgh!" said my readers, in my mind. Yep, it's that time again, time for pictures I took while traveling somewhere. Lots of old buildings involved. Will I ever get tired of taking pictures of old buildings, looming above me? No. Nope. Never.

I talked about it on twitter, but since my twitter has become more and more of a cesspool where my thoughts go to die, I can understand why you would stay as far away from that place as possible. So I'd better just update everyone: I went to Edinburgh for Christmas. It was pretty awesome. I met up with my friend Lily and her partner in crime Angus, and stayed in a really cool flat right below the Edinburgh Castle (the view from outside our building pictured above). Lily had been working up in Orkney over the fall, and then she and Angus trekked around Europe for a few weeks before ending their adventure in Edinburgh with me. I was super glad that they invited me to spend Christmas with them, because otherwise I probably would have spent the holiday all alone in my dimly lit room, eating beans and sobbing.

Here's a neat story. The morning I arrived, Lily and I planned to meet at a Starbucks near Princes Street in the Edinburgh city center. Lily didn't have a working mobile at the time (what primeval world is she living in) so she sent a facebook message before she left the flat, saying to meet at the Starbucks on George and Castle. So I got off the bus at George and Castle, went into the Starbucks, bought a latte, and waited. And waited. And waited. After a while I decided Lily must have gone to the wrong Starbucks, so I went down the road to another nearby Starbucks. She wasn't there. I think I must have gone back and forth between those two Starbucks like three times, tweeting and facebooking forlorn messages as I went, finally just sitting outside the original Starbucks full of despair.

After a while of sitting there convinced I was going to die alone on the streets of Edinburgh, Lily finally showed up all panicked. Apparently, you guys, there is a third Starbucks in that vicinity in Edinburgh, to which Lily had initially gone. So while I had been wandering back and forth between two Starbucks on George Street, she had been going back and forth between the Starbucks on George and Castle, and the one on Princes Street. Jesus Christ Edinburgh, talk about confusing. Maybe, before erecting three Starbucks locations in one small area, consider the sad mobile-less Americans who might be trying to find one another, lost and alone and scared, on the cold streets of your city. Maybe think about that one next time.

Despite the harrowing first hour, Edinburgh turned out to be pretty amazing all told. If you've never been, you should go. People kept asking me what I was doing for Christmas, and every single person, when told I was going to Edinburgh, exploded with, "Oh my god you are going to love it, it is so beautiful and amazing, narrow streets, cool shops, so quaint, castle, oh god Meg you will love that Scottish shit." They weren't wrong. I loved that Scottish shit.

I even tried haggis, which I was convinced would be disgusting (because who doesn't have a horrible idea in their mind about what haggis is all about), but turned out to be pretty okay. I couldn't eat more than a bite because the idea of it freaks me way out, but it tasted okay. I did like those tatties and neeps, though. Mmmm tatties and neeps.

My favorite thing about Edinburgh, and I imagine Scotland in general, if I'm honest, was the ever-present and often eerily distant wailing of bagpipes. I felt like, no matter where I was or what I was doing, the whole time I was in Edinburgh, there was bagpipe music in the background. Sometimes it was far away, those melancholic strains drifting through Old Town, and other times it was blasting loudly from a speaker in some kitschy Scotland Gift Shop. The best, though, was the man standing outside a church or some old building or other, playing actual bagpipes. Now, bagpipes are no new thing for me, having grown up like three blocks away from Rose Park in Missoula, where apparently every bagpiper in the city goes to practice for hours at a time, but there's no doubt about it: bagpipes are way better when experienced in Scotland. God, I love bagpipes. (Bagpipe man will be featured in the next post of pictures from Edinburgh.)

Well guys, I guess that about does it for my first post about Edinburgh. I really liked the city, and I could totally see myself living there, unlike in London, which is a terrifying prison of concrete and pigeons. (Not really; I love London, but if I had to live here for years on end I fear my soul would whither and die. Unless I lived in Hampstead, though; I think I could manage Hampstead.) I'd love to go back to Scotland later in the year and visit the highlands, and Orkney, and basically everywhere cool that doesn't involve being in a city.

Homesickness

2011-12-28T15:45:00.000-08:00

Guess what! One of my favorite places in the world isn't actually real. It's in a video game. BIG SURPRISE. I've already done a post about Mass Effect and how cool I found that one spaceship to be, but my relationship with World of Warcraft goes much deeper than just a casual fling with some BioWare RPG. Okay, yeah, for a few years there I was pretty addicted to it and put off doing normal human things like eating and bowel movements in favor of leveling my mage or raiding on my holy priest, but let's forget that for a moment! Let's forget that I abandoned my friends for a year for this game, and just remember the good times. And there were many of those.

Sometimes I try to tell people about WoW, and how much I loved it, and I basically always come off sounding like a meth addict or an unforgivable loser. The fact is, though, and I've come to realize this more clearly recently -- I don't miss the gameplay of WoW so much. I don't miss the PvP (although twinking around in Arathi Basin on my 49 hunter was always a good time), and I don't miss raiding, unless you count the golden days of Karazhan when Greg was shamelessly flirting with me in whispers, and that crazy-eyed Australian girl kept copying my mage specs because I was clearly the cooler female in the guild. No, those were just perks. What I mostly miss, I've found, is the world itself. The landscapes, the magic, the inhabitants, the music -- they all go together to create this pretty badass world that you can explore in its entirety. I feel like the world of Azeroth is a place I actually used to live in, and now I've left, but I miss it because I'll probably never experience like I did the first time.

Admittedly a lot of the appeal for me was also in the social nature of WoW. I got to spend time and interact with Greg while gaming, which is pretty fucking neat. We also had several out-of-state friends who we knew mostly through WoW or other online games. Now Greg is living with one of them in Salt Lake, so clearly we made some legit connections in game! (That, or Greg's roommate is waiting patiently for the opportune moment in which to kill and eat him.)

The thing is, though, I really do miss the world of the game. I particularly miss one continent that was introduced in the Wrath of the Lich King expansion, called Northrend. I remember boarding the zeppelin from Undercity to Howling Fjord for the first time, and becoming totally obsessed with the music that played on it. I mean, how can you not be obsessed with these glorious harmonious strains? Scandinavian music is the best.

I could make an entire post on the music of WoW, but I won't, unless you want me to, and then I will. Because seriously, it's the best game music ever made, not counting Ocarina of Time, and selected music from Fable II. I used to go to certain zones in WoW just to listen to the music there. Or I'd be in the middle of questing or something, and my favorite bit of the song would start, and I'd drop everything just to sit and listen. I know. I'm just that cool.

Northrend is such a great place, though. It's dark and snowy and Scandinavian, mysterious and full of hulking viking-like creatures. I have dreams about it. (I know. I'm just that cool.) Maybe these screenshots I took years ago will give you a tiny insight into how beautiful and enthralling WoW, particularly Northrend, can be. I just feel like people don't pay enough attention to how lovely the game is. I wish it were a real world that I could live in. I feel homesick for a place I've never been. Sigh.

Dick Move

2011-12-27T15:11:00.000-08:00

A lot of times I can be a dick. And I'm not just saying this in a funny, "Haha I'm such a dick when I give rescue bunnies to lonely orphans on my days off!" No. This isn't irony, people. This is fact. A lot of times, on complete purpose, I am a dick. Even without meaning to I can be a giant penis. I assume all of us are this way sometimes, but I find that I'm particularly prone to it on the internet. Big surprise. I like to comfort myself that I'm not the only one, but who knows, I might get drunk and black out and be every single troll on the internet without knowing it. I just have a bunch of different IP addresses that I use. And like, different emails. (I don't know how the internet works.) Anyway the point is, let me be straight with you all: I'm not always nice.

I feel it's important to be genuine on this blog, because what you read here is absolutely 100% me. I don't filter, I don't edit (except for grammar). I am actually this awesome. I am also this much of a loser. Up to you how you read it, but what I write here is completely genuine and I stand by it. That also goes for what I write in the comments, and what I write on twitter especially, because on twitter is where I bitch about stuff. I mean really bitch. If there's somebody on facebook who bugs me and I think might not be on twitter, I'll bitch about them there. If there's somebody on twitter who makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a spoon, I'll rant about them on facebook. That's how it goes. You know you all do it too. I'm not trying to be somebody I'm not. I'm not trying to love everybody and be loved by everybody. I don't hate anyone except homophobes and rapists, and I don't think that hate is something worth spending time and energy in cultivating. But I do complain a lot, and I think venting and ranting is a healthy way to blow off steam. I do. So that's me. Maybe you disagree. Okay.

Alone in my dark room, angry at somebody on the internet.

That said, sometimes somebody finds out that I'm bitching about them. Or I actually bitch about them to their face, which often happens on facebook or fandom!secrets (which I don't read anymore but I always used to leave trollish comments there and it was glorious). Don't worry, I'll never do it anonymously. I don't believe in that shit; if you want to be an asshole, take pride in it and own it! Anons are the worst. So when somebody finds out I've been bitching, like recently on my twitter, then I get to feel like a giant throbbing cock when they call me on it.

Yeah, a giant throbbing cock. To the person who commented on my blog the other day and I totally said snarky things on twitter, well... you know who you are. I said what I meant at the time, but I'm sorry. It was probably in bad taste. But at the same time, would you rather I just pretend to be super into the comment you left that annoyed me? Or even ignore it, if it annoyed me that much? Nah, you don't want that. If I piss somebody off on the internet, I'd rather they tell me, and preferably in a public forum where we can angrily type at each other until we get all of our feelings out in the open. The internet is a magical place where we can have arguments without fear of fisticuffs or a black eye. I'm not afraid of internet arguments. I embrace them. I'm easily embroiled. Greg thinks this is silly of me, because it always gets me riled up, but whatever. I enjoy it. I enjoy being snarky. I do. If you piss me off in the comments of my blog, it's likely I'll bitch about it on twitter. Go see! Don't be afraid.

I hate children!

And this isn't me saying, "Don't leave annoying comments on my blog." In fact, the opposite. Comment however you like. I won't censor. I won't delete. But I won't censor myself when replying or reacting to what you say. It's an open forum, guys. And if I find your opinion or your tone offensive, I'll probably say so.

I do regret not just taking up my recent issue directly with the commenter, because it would've been more constructive and interesting and not passive-aggressive that way, but we all make mistakes. We're all passive-aggressive at one time or another. I can be a real dick, I know I can. Just... don't be surprised when I am. I'm not perfect, and neither is anybody else. I have strong opinions. I have strong reactions. I'm a drama queen, I exaggerate, I'm easily riled up. These are all facts about me, and probably personality flaws, but this is all me. I'm laying it out. I don't want to gloss over my faults and pretend they don't exist because that would be doing you all a disservice, and it would be creepy and fake. So I don't do it. This is me. I'm not some magically sweet adorable person who loves all things. Sometimes I'm a penis. So there it is.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T13:51:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to make a quick update to say Merry Christmas to everybody who celebrates Christmas! And if you don't celebrate it, then change "Christmas" to whatever holiday you currently celebrate, as "happy holidays" is such a milquetoasty thing to say. Sorry, super PC people out there: YOU'RE BORING.

Last night Lily and I went to the midnight Christmas Eve service at St John's near our flat, and it was really nice. I'm not a member of any church but I do think I succeeded in not embarrassing myself too badly. We sang carols and I went up for a blessing during Communion. The sermon was also really great; he totally spoke in favor of the Occupy movement, which I thought was pretty amazing, and not something I would have expected in a church service. We so often forget about true Christian values, when there are so many "Christians" who speak nothing but hate and stand for nothing but greed. And that's a shame. Anyway it was a really peaceful, moving way to start my Christmas.

That said, I hope you all have an amazing rest of your holiday, and enjoy your Boxing Day as well! ♥

The Last of Vienna

2011-12-22T13:22:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about the novel (or partial novel) I'm supposed to write for my masters dissertation. I mean, I've been thinking about it intermittently since the beginning of term, but lately I'm feeling slightly panicked about the whole thing. Do I write typical fantasy? Should I go a different direction and focus on character over genre? Or do I just say "fuck it" and write a steampunk piece because it'd be fun and totally easy to get published right now?

...Yeah you're right. The last one. I'm thinking I might use some characters that have been swimming around in my brain since early 2005, six friends who attend a private music school together. I might try to make it a kind of alternate history steampunk thing, or like, a future thing... maybe they live on Victorian Moon 4? Which you guys don't know about unless you're the one person who reads my blog and was in workshop with me? Not sure yet, but I do know that it will involve flying machines.

But anyway yeah. Writing is hard. How do you come up with ideas and then write them down coherently? Even I can't explain it. I've found lately that I never have any idea what I'm going to write until I just start typing. Then it comes out like word vomit. No idea why this works but it does, which is frustrating, because who wants to start typing when they have no idea what they're going to say? IT'S HARD.

Why am I writing about writing when I should be talking about Vienna? Oh, who knows. I don't really care. I figure this blog is just a crapshoot now anyway. What will she write next? Nobody knows! I don't even know! But I like it that way. I like not worrying anymore, and I especially like not getting 20 comments that say, "cute skirt, follow me back? x" anymore. As cool as it felt to have 35 comments on one post, they were mostly inane and obnoxious. I much prefer spewing my feelings in tl;dr form for you all to be subjected to whenever I feel like it.

Here, have some more photos. After Christmas I'll post some good ones of Edinburgh, hopefully, so keep an eye out!

Why My Boyfriend is Better Than Yours

2011-12-20T11:14:00.000-08:00

The other day when I told Greg I'd written a super long blog post and demanded that he read it, he said, "Is it about me?" Immediately I felt like such a horrible failure of a girlfriend that it wasn't about him, and cried for hours berating myself for making such a poor, selfish life choice. That's just an example of one of my logical thought processes. What this means, though, is that this time I'm going to write about Greg. Well, sort of. I'm going to write about boyfriends, and what makes them really cool and deserving of the Good Boyfriend Award as opposed to the You Wouldn't Buy Me Tampons And A Pregnancy Test At Walgreen's Because You Were Embarrassed, So Screw You, Worst Boyfriend In The World Award.

Let me start off by saying that, yes, Greg has indeed (at least once) purchased a 20-pack of Tampax Super tampons for me at the grocery or drug store. He also, after I was once seized by irrational panic after feeling nauseous in the morning and more than one person on Twitter claimed that this could only mean I was pregnant, went to the store and waited in line for ages with nothing but a pregnancy test and his own shame to keep him company. Thank you, Greg. For this I am grateful. But let's not get hung up on the little things. Womanly drug store items and the willingness to purchase them does not a good boyfriend make. So what makes a truly good boyfriend, you ask? Well, considering I've been in a total of two relationships and one of them now seems like some horrible mix-up, I'm obviously qualified to make broad claims about heterosexual partnerships as a whole. Here are a few traits which, in my experience, define a boyfriend worthy of the time-honored Good Boyfriend Award.

Wolf-mouse creature or Renaissance man? Doesn't matter to a good boyfriend; he'll gladly take on either identity.

1. He is willing, and even happy, to dress up in stupid outfits just because it's important to you. I mean you'd do the same for him, right? Right? Stupid outfits are just one of those inescapable facts of life that boyfriends and pets alike are forced to deal with on holidays and special occasions. Your boyfriend knows that if he puts up any resistance when you show him those matching Edward and Bella costumes that he'll be sleeping on the couch later. Without a pillow. Plus, he knows you've been looking forward all year to Halloween just so you can smother his chest in glitter and force him to prance around the downtown clubs like a disco ballsack all night. If he's a winner, he'll put up with acute humiliation with no hope or expectation of repayment, simply out of love for you. That's because he's a good boyfriend.

2. He laughs at you when you cry. I don't mean this in a horrible villainous way, like, "Bwahahaha, finally, I have drawn those bitter hot tears from your eyes, just like I planned when I made a hearty stew out of your new puppy!" No, not like that. What I mean is, when you're trying to make cucumber sandwiches for a tea party and you've never made them before, and pretty soon you've cut three of your fingers with the knife, the cucumber is mutilated and covered in blood, and you've accidentally eaten most of the bread, and then you burst into tears wailing about how you'll never be invited over for a tea party again, what a good boyfriend will do is laugh at you. Not in a mean-spirited way. But at the sight of you standing, forlorn, in the middle of the kitchen with blood all over the cucumbers and bread crumbs all over your face, now getting soggy from your tears, he can't help but laugh. He's not laughing at you, he's laughing with you. He wants you to see that you're making cucumber sandwiches. You nicked your finger and stuffed your pie hole with bread to make yourself feel better. It's not the end of the world. A SWAT team hasn't just burst through your doors and windows and opened fire. A meteor hasn't fallen out of the sky, through the roof, and into your skull rendering you a paraplegic. You've just fucked up the sandwiches. And hey, maybe there's even enough bread and clean cucumber left to salvage the operation!

If he's a winner, your boyfriend will help you with the rest of the preparation and make sure you don't hurt yourself any further with the paring knife. And hopefully, especially if he has an infectious laugh, your boyfriend's amusement at your predicament will have made you realize that you might have been overreacting just a little. If you can't laugh at your own idiocy with your boyfriend, do you really want to live in this world? On the other hand, if your boyfriend has a mental breakdown and accuses you of being a crazy emotional ho every time you burst into tears about something ridiculously trivial, then he probably sucks and you should trade him in for a better model.

"I want to help you live the life of destitution and poor personal hygiene that you dream of."

3. He gets angry if you don't follow your dreams. As in, he won't let you leave the room until you agree to follow your dreams, because he can't imagine living in a world where his girlfriend isn't 100% happy and fulfilled. Even if your dreams are the dumbest. He should still support them. I mean, maybe you want to sell all of your belongings and become a traveling hermit in the Swiss Alps for a year, with only a goat as your companion. Maybe you've been dreaming of this for your whole life. If your boyfriend is worthy of the Good Boyfriend Award, he will do all in his power to make sure that you spend a year half-starved, wandering the foothills of the Alps, surviving only on goat milk and despair. If that's what you want, he will get it for you. He will push you toward this goal. "But I'm not sure I want to be away from you for so long," you might protest. These things should wash right over him. "I want you to be happy," a good boyfriend will respond. "If you can't be a wastrel in Switzerland right now, with a goat, when can you?" If you're a good girlfriend, you'll succumb to his goading and finally agree to follow your dreams and become a starving goat hermit in the mountains. Just don't forget, next time he brings up that dream of his to learn every episode of Walker, Texas Ranger by heart and recite them all in person to Chuck Norris, you must support it at all costs. All costs.

"Girl, I'd even watch an episode of True Blood without killing myself, just for you."

4. He watches the movie you picked out, even if it's a 3-hour long musical about the Founding Fathers. I mean nobody can convincingly argue against the brilliance and true cultural value of 1776, but even if your boyfriend wants to, if he's a keeper, he'll sit through it and refrain from harming himself physically. Hitting himself on the head with a pillow, throwing you sad tortured looks, and groaning with intense pain and misery don't count. In fact these reactions are often seen as endearing and positive. If your boyfriend was actually enjoying himself, he wouldn't be subjecting himself to a horrifying ordeal just for you, and would therefore not be earning as many Good Boyfriend Points. The more harrowing situations your boyfriend suffers through at your request, the closer he gets to winning the Good Boyfriend Award. This also goes for such things as fun baking activities, dramatic readings of Pride & Prejudice, and helping you pick out a dress to wear.

5. He doesn't tell you what you want to hear. I know, this sounds like a bad one. Sometimes maybe it is. Sometimes, it really is best to tell people what they want to hear. Like if they're hysterically crying, clawing at their own clothes, and rolling around on the ground shrieking. Then they might not be ready to hear rational logic, and will therefore only try to kill you if you don't whisper sweet beautiful half-lies into their ears until they calm down.

If, however, you've just decided you're going to trade in your car for a pony so you can ride it to work every day in a fairy dress, your winner boyfriend will take this chance to step in and say something. Some girls might say, "But he should support my dreams! I want to trade in my car for a pony, so he has no right to disagree with my perfectly sound life decisions!" No. You are wrong. If your boyfriend meekly tells you to follow your heart and get that pony, you will end up borrowing his car every day for the next five years until you can save enough money to buy a shitty 1983 Mitsubishi for yourself. That, or you'll be forced to actually ride the pony to work every day in a fairy dress, which might be fun one day out of the year when it's warm and sunny and dry, and you feel like riding around on a pony in a fairy dress, but I guarantee the rest of the time you'll rue the day you ever got that damn pony.

A good boyfriend will remind you that it's your decision, in the end, but do you really want to give up the convenience of a car for a high maintenance pony that shits everywhere, and doesn't have a windshield? He'll remind you of the pros and cons, and hopefully, with a little bit of nudging and common sense, he'll steer you back in the right direction. The direction of not a pony. So next time your boyfriend seems like he's stomping all over your dreams with hateful reason and logic, remember: he's probably just trying to make sure you don't end up spending the rest of your life cleaning up pony shit and weeping.

This good boyfriend would never prepare or eat puppy stew.

There are many more ways a boyfriend can win at life and win a Good Boyfriend Award, but these are the most important, meaning they're the only ones I could come up with at short notice. Bonus life hint: If your boyfriend cries a lot and makes puppy stew, he's probably not The One. You never know, though. Puppy stew might be delicious.

Meg's Guide to Growing Up

2011-12-18T18:55:00.000-08:00

[Warning: Don't take this seriously. Until the end, then I say serious things. Kind of.]

Growing up is scary and weird. It's also frustrating, confusing, and extremely difficult. Nobody really tells you this. They might try to, or they drop little hints along the way, but nobody outright tells you: "Growing up sucks. It's scary, weird, frustrating, confusing, and extremely difficult. Prepare for lots of shit to go down. Prepare to be miserable. You'll likely fuck it up at one point; probably many points. If you're lucky, you'll actually survive and be a functioning human by the time you die. So good luck with that, kid." Nobody says it! Perhaps they've all forgotten, all of our parents and mentors and older people in general. Perhaps they've forgotten what a clusterfuck it was to grow up. Maybe they think it's better if we figure it out ourselves. But I'm indignant. Come on, older people, you really couldn't warn us? It's that hard?

Look, let's break it down. They drop hints. Sure. Thanks for that. They said, when we were in elementary school: "You must always write in cursive because in middle school they require you to write in cursive, always! Otherwise you'll fail and never make it to college!" When we got to middle school they didn't give a shit about cursive, but said, "You must always write in pen because in high school they require you to write in pen, always! Otherwise you'll fail and never make it to college!" Yeah, that didn't happen. In high school they didn't give a shit about pens. And then all throughout high school they went, "HOLY SHIT you'd better be a valedictorian and donate your spare organs to poor people and clean up trash with your teeth so you can put it on your resume and get into the Honors Society and then a halfway decent college! Otherwise you will fail at life and die!" Those were the hints we got in our early years. Do it right or you'll fuck up your entire future. Okay, fair, fair. I mean I worked hard in high school, I took AP classes because all my friends were doing it, and I got into college. A mediocre in-state university, but still. Huzzah, I thought, now the world is my oyster!

Wrong. When you get into college, people start giving you even more more useless life lessons in order to show you that no, life will never truly be your oyster. It starts with stuff like, "You'll never have more fun than when you're in college! Boy, enjoy that shit while you can! Sleep through all your morning classes and then drink heavily throughout the week, because you can't pull that crap in Real Life!" Yeah, okay. I didn't do that, really, other than the sleeping through class bit. But seriously, guys, that's your advice to young students? Enjoy it while you can, because pretty soon it's gonna suck? That just sounds like a myth to scare us into spending lots of money at the shit Montana bars. But that wasn't all. Then you started making us worry about grad school. "What grad school are you going to? Have you asked for letters of reference yet? What's your dissertation? Thesis? Applications! Resume! Work experience!" Abject terror. I came out of college filled with this horror that I was supposed to go to grad school or else I'd end up unemployed in Portland, Oregon with a BA and a cupboard full of expired ramen.

Luckily that only happened for a short while, but what I'm saying is, we're thrown all of these arbitrary yet very specific words of "wisdom" from the world, saying do this and do that or you'll fail. Don't do this and don't do that or you'll end up as a transient hooker on the streets of San Francisco, gross-sobbing because you wish you'd listened to your father and majored in business instead of English literature. I find that offensive. I find that their words of wisdom should have been more honest and all-encompassing. Here's what our parents, teachers, mentors, and the world should have told us while we were growing up, according to my very limited and biased experience.

Haribo Starmix is scientifically proven to increase instances of criminal behavior.

1. You will make many, many mistakes, and you will just have to deal with that (and hopefully learn from them). This is something I'm just now discovering, if you're curious to know, children and twenty-somethings (who are basically still children) of the world. Nobody tells you you're gonna fuck shit up repeatedly and be forced to go on living afterwards. They tell you inspiring things, things you want to hear, like, "We've got your back," or "Do what makes you happy." No. No. Don't do what makes you happy 100% of the time. I mean, I could get a serious endorphin rush every time I curb-stomp an orphan, but do I do that on a regular basis? No. In fact never, because that would be what we call a Life Fuck-up. That's right.

However, maybe one time I ate one too many Haribo Goldbears, suffered from an intense sugar rush, and ran through the streets of Northeast London until I found an orphan to curb stomp. Maybe the next day I felt horrible, really awful, because damn even though that kid has no family he's probably brain-damaged or dead now. Maybe I spent a week in bed, quietly weeping, writing poems about that poor lonely child. Then after a while I felt better, saying to myself, "Well I think I've learned from that little mistake! I won't be curb stomping anyone ever again." Jump to six months later, the Haribo headquarters in Germany. I've just gorged myself on Tangfastics, Starmix, and Strawbs. My mind a whirr of nothing but sweet sweet sugar and my cavities in agony, I stumble out onto the darkened streets of Bonn, and begin my hunt for an orphan.

"Holy balls," you might say. "Why would you eat all those gummies if you knew it could send you into an orphan-curb-stomping spree?" Good question, dear reader. Good question. The only answer I have for you is this: You will fuck up many times. You will hopefully learn from those fuck-ups. Hopefully after only one. But life is hard, and being a human in this cold, cold world is hard, so maybe you'll have to fuck up repeatedly before you get the message. Just don't hurt yourself afterwards, because we call that "self harm" and it makes you seem emo.

Direct their attention from your sad existence to your rad wardrobe with a New Look coat.

2. Not everybody likes you, but they totally should. This is one I'm working on with the help of my dear boyfriend Greg, who has it down pat. I've found that I go through most of my life feeling hated by about 99% of the earth's populace. The reasons vary. One day it may be because my music is too loud on the tube and I'm forcing everybody to listen to second-hand Patrick Wolf and Florence + the Machine, which is enough to make anybody suicidal and full of rage all at once. Then another day it may be because my hair is windblown and disheveled, so I must look pathetic and disgusting in equal parts, offending the unsuspecting eyes of all those unfortunate enough to pass me. Or maybe it's just because somebody glanced at me, and the only possible reason they could have to move their eyeballs in the direction of my face is that they hate me with every fiber of their being.

These are the thoughts that go through my head on a pretty regular basis. Is that fun and exciting for me? No. Do I need to work on this? Yeah. So here's what I try to tell myself when I end up doubled over in a fetal position on platform 3 in the Green Park tube station because I'm hung over and too scared to get on a train for fear I'll hurl all over the holiday shoppers: Maybe these people see me looking pale and sickly on the bench. Maybe they think, "God what a sad excuse for a human that is. I hate that she exists." Or maybe they think, "That sick-looking girl has a pimp coat, did she get it at New Look? What a badass winner at life."

When in times of social duress (every moment of my life), I try to imagine that people think things like this. I mean, even if they're not wondering where I got my fabulous cheapo high street coat, they definitely should be. If I'm in the kitchen fiddling with the oven for an hour trying to figure out how to turn on the bottom left burner without causing an explosion, and then my barely legal flatmate enters the room and gives me a cutting look of repulsion and pity, I can hold my head high and think, "Well at least that bitch doesn't have a swank Primark sweater like I'm wearing today. I bet she's afraid I'm gonna open up a big can of American whoop-ass on her right now." It's best to imagine that your cool outfits inflict equal parts terror, longing, and admiration upon your foes. I mean, sure, maybe this girl actually hates me because I refuse to buy more toilet paper after buying it twice in a row, and because I left an angry note in the fridge berating her for eating my mature British cheddar cheese. But should I dwell on that? No. I should think to myself, "Wow, sucks for this girl that she isn't me, or at least my close ally. Because I'm pretty much the greatest thing created by mother nature. If she wants to give me the stink eye, that's her own sad little problem."

So just remember, if somebody doesn't like you, they're one of the world's many Life Failures and deserve to be force-fed sauerkraut. That's because you rule. Who cares if this is all in your head? Doesn't matter. Delusion is your best friend when it comes to worrying about whether or not people hate you.

Maruchan Ramen: worth eating every day for a week after buying those River Island booties.

3. It's your money, do what you want with it. You will never learn how to live on a budget if you're smart with your expenses all the time. If you don't do it all wrong at first, on a regular basis, you'll find yourself having a major nervous breakdown every time you overdraw your account by two dollars. Nobody wants a major nervous breakdown every Friday. So do yourself a favor and take it easy. Be a young person for a while and get all of that irresponsible shopping and drinking out of your system. That way, when you get a career and a spouse and (god forbid) children, you can begin learning how to balance your budget and acting the "adult" without any regrets or panic attacks.

I've found that a good method to keeping myself in line when it comes to money, without doing all the work of assigning myself an actual budget, is to spend thoughtlessly until my bank account is empty. Then I can comfortably live off of half-moldy bread and tap water until the next paycheck or student loan refund comes along, without stressing about whether or not I should buy those furry ankle boots from River Island. It's win/win. I get to feel like a proper starving artist wasting away in poverty half the time, and the rest of the time I enjoy a daily latte and trip to the shopping center to indulge in unnecessary and excessive consumerism. (Disclaimer: This might eventually backfire if your parents are supporting you, and you could end up disowned. But if you're the one who's applied for the student loans and whose name is on the credit card, spend away. Nobody else is getting hurt, so just use that money however you damn well please. Until you get married, that is; that shit's a whole new can of totally gross worms.)

Best not to drunkenly book a ticket to Thailand, regardless of marital status.

4. If you don't get hurt, and if you don't hurt someone, then you're probably doing it wrong. That's right. If you go through life like a perfect angel, doing everything right and kissing babies while you're at it, then you've officially Failed at Life. I don't like to say it, but it's true. You're a goner. Everybody hates you and you haven't learned a thing. Here's the deal, O Perfect One: You haven't grown. The minute one difficult situation crops up in your life, whether it be sooner or later, you're going to be so unprepared you'll undoubtedly defecate in your pants and then run around in circles screaming until you pass out.

Some people are born knowing how life works, and being really good at it. Those people are called Liars, or Satan. Eventually, something will happen, and you've got to know how to deal with it. Therefore, don't be surprised when your long-term girlfriend decides she's tired of the way you eat cereal in the morning, pours a gallon of 1% milk over your head, and walks out the door for good. It's not fun, kids, but it's life. And just remember: that's not the last time this will happen. If you're lucky, you'll only have a gallon of milk or some other beverage poured hatefully over your head by a loved one about five or six more times over the course of your life. It'll probably even happen more than that. The important thing to learn from this is that you can survive it. Maybe you've listened to eight different boyfriends telling you how he didn't mean to, but he ended up sleeping with that hottie 16-year-old who works at McDonald's, and how he'd love to stay with you but he's busy working out the logistics of his now illegal love affair with an underage fast food employee to give you the attention you deserve. Maybe each of those conversations hurt a little less, or maybe a little more. But did you learn something from the ordeal? If it happens again, probably not. But if you finally realize that maybe you should stop dating pedophile Happy Meal addicts, then you've taken a step in the right direction. The direction of maturity. That's all we can do, really, is take steps toward that functional existence we all dream of, the one only Liars and Satan claim to live.

Now before I move on, let's talk about the other side of the coin: When you hurt someone you care about. This one's harder. Nobody wants to admit they've hurt anyone, because only assholes hurt people they love. While growing up your dad always said, "If he hurts you, I'll take a shotgun to his face." It was always about others inflicting pain upon you. Nobody ever said, "If you get drunk, fly to Thailand and have a cocaine orgy on an uninhabited jungle island but then tell your boyfriend you didn't answer his texts because you were busy saving a drowning puppy from an approaching great white shark, what are you gonna do about it?" Few of us were ever given that talk.

So when it came time to decide whether or not to board that plane to Thailand, some of us went right ahead onto that aircraft, not thinking what the ramifications to our relationship could be. Then some of us, the ones with sharper instincts, thought, "Hmmm it might be a bad idea to drunkenly fly to Thailand and engage in a cocaine orgy without first consulting my significant other. I'd better call my boyfriend to come pick me up from terminal 2, and explain everything to him." The ones who thought that are assholes, because they got it right. (Mostly. They did still book a ticket to Thailand.) I hate those guys. Lording it over the rest of us with their "morals" and "honor codes" and "ethics". Not everybody is hard-wired to get it right every time. Most of us have to make those repeated mistakes as mentioned in lesson #1 before we can confidently say we won't hurt that poor long-suffering boyfriend anymore. Not that we ever wanted to hurt him, we were just stupid and really craved authentic pad thai. Some people just learn faster than others though, and I hate those people. Share some of the wealth, assholes.

Why would you ever want to eat this.

5. You're not always right, but stand by your guns if your guns are worth it. Don't be stubborn, though. Stubbornness is for dicks who don't want to know what idiots they're being. That said, accept this one thing: You are not always right. Got that? You are not always right. I've yet to learn this one, and I've gone through a lot of training. It's hard, especially when you're such a cool person as I am. If you think you're always right, you'll inevitably be wrong at some point -- it's statistically probable, I did the math -- and then what? Do you admit it immediately? Do you hold out for a really long time, and then when somebody finally googles it and you discover you're actually wrong, just shrug and act like you're not as humiliated and ashamed as you actually are? The latter is a tough one, because usually it's impossible to conceal that level of humiliation and shame. I've tried. They can always tell.

So before you start making grand claims about how you know to spell Mozart's full baptismal name in front of your friends, always know you're right. I don't care if you think you're right, know it. If you don't have his name tattooed on your body somewhere, you're probably not enough of a hardcore Mozart fan to know his entire name, and you'd better stop while you're ahead. If, on the other hand, you have "Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart" tattooed in script on your butt cheeks, then please. Tell us more.

That said, sometimes it's okay and even important to stand up for your beliefs even if they're not necessarily correct or popular. However, don't get confused and think that just because you believe something, it's necessarily true. It's easy to forget that nobody likes kippers, even if you do. So if you throw a dinner party and the main course is just plates full of whole dead fish, people will try to murder you in your own home. I don't care if you like them. I don't care. "But they're so delicious and fishy, those kippers!" you might say. Okay, you think that, but do your guests? Hell no, your guests came expecting a Sunday roast and instead they got foul, odorous denizens of the sea resting in their own juices, fresh from the tin. You didn't even make proper kippers, you just bought the pre-cooked kipper snacks and dumped them, metallic and oozing, onto plates. You could give us all a billion reasons why you love kippers, why their taste is unparalleled and out of this world, but we will never agree with you. So don't stand by that gun. It's a stupid gun and you'll never win with it, and it's not worth it in the end because all you've achieved is a dinner party of kippers.

However, if the stakes were higher and your argument meant something, like if these kippers were in fact fished out of the sea by your own father in his last act before dying of pneumonia, and his last words to you were, "Please... enjoy the kippers. Fishing them up was the last thing I did in life that I was truly proud of," then stand by those guns no matter what. If your dinner guests still refuse to eat the kippers, even though they are a symbol of your father's loving and fruitful existence on this good earth, then your guests are assholes and you should kick them out and eat all the kippers yourself, remembering that by standing by your beliefs you were truly loyal to your deceased father.

So there you have it, my five life lessons. It's important to remember that I am 25 years old, I know very little about life, and most of these lessons I haven't even learned myself. I do know that growing up sucks, though. And let me be serious for a second because god knows this post isn't very serious. Just let me say this: I feel like I'm doing more growing up now, in London, thousands of miles from anything familiar, than I'd done in the 24.5 years of my life previous. I mean, Portland helped a bit, but this is some intense shit right now and it's quite difficult. Did anybody ever tell you that long distance relationships were hard? They were right. Hardest thing I've ever done. If you think it's easy then you're a Liar or Satan. If you are forced to take part in one then probably about 80% of your life mistakes will be made during this time (I did the math). Also, it's more than likely that you'll get hurt and that your partner will get hurt, unless you're one of those hateful perfect humans who were born knowing how to live life.

So if it happens and you fuck up, don't worry. You're human. We're all human. You will live through it, unless you climb to the top of the London Eye, King Kong style, and fling yourself into the Thames. You'd likely not survive that. Which is why I haven't done it yet.

Vienna Part 2

2011-12-15T16:48:00.000-08:00

Time for another installment of Vienna photos! This time I'm gonna focus on the Christmas markets (or Weihnachtsmarkt, as those silly German-speakers would say), which were the main attraction for us in Vienna. In my opinion they're one of the greatest things in existence. If you live in the UK there are a bunch around; I know there are at least two in London, one by the Thames near the Eye, and then another in Hyde Park I think, and undoubtedly there are others around. If you have a chance you should totally go to one, they're so quaint and lovely, and at night they're amazing. You have to drink Gluehwein (mulled wine) while you're at it! If you're lucky you'll get a cool mug to drink it in. I kept my mug, bad me, but I effectively paid 2 euros for it so I don't feel too guilty.

Anyway, we went to three different Christmas markets in Vienna. Two were on the first full day there, in the evening, and the third was the next day at Schoenbrunn Palace. It was incredibly cold, but we warmed up with mulled wine and hot cocoa, and bread bowls of soup. The market stalls were so beautiful, all lit up and full of Christmassy things. Christmas is by far my favorite time of year; I love everything about Christmas. I love the cold weather, and being inside drinking hot cocoa while the world outside grows quiet and snow-covered. I love all the lights, and Christmas music, and gingerbread cookies, and eating good food with family. I could go on for ages about why I love Christmas but I'll just shut up and show you the photos!

Drive

2011-12-12T16:49:00.000-08:00

So I just finished watching Drive. Now that I've tweeted incoherently about it, I figured it would be a fun thing for me to write about it in my blog. Fun for me; no idea if you guys are super stoked for this, BUT I AM.

So I initially watched the movie because I saw a post on tumblr with a screencap and a quote from it. And I thought, boy that looks interesting. I mean I do love Ryan Gosling, ever since The Notebook (am I right girls!), so that wasn't a deterrent. I had no idea what this movie was gonna be like so I went into it assuming it would just be a two-hour-long series of shots of Ryan Gosling wearing a scorpion jacket and driving in a car with some neat leather driving gloves on. That's what I expected, but I got so much more! I got Carey Mulligan and Christina Hendricks, even! Score.

Considering I went into this movie with really no expectations, other than the fact that London was covered in posters for it when I first moved here and I figured that must mean it was at least okay, I was pleasantly surprised! What struck me immediately was the synth-y music and pink '80s font, which is always intriguing and enticing, and the cinematography really made me happy. If a movie is mediocre, or even awful, I will sit through it and enjoy it if it's pretty enough. This is a fact. (Sadly, I could only sit through The Wolfman because I'd paid $10 to see it and I thought I should get my money's worth, plus it's totally embarrassing to leave in the middle of a movie, right?) Luckily, however, Drive was not awful, or even mediocre! It was actually pretty great. Immediately afterwards I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but since I haven't been able to think of anything but the movie since I finished watching it (it's been, like, a whole hour), to me that says classic!

Seriously though you guys, first of all, if you like Ryan Gosling you're gonna like this. I guarantee it. If you don't like it, then I just don't know if you truly love him as much as you profess to. His character is great. And Carey Mulligan is so adorable and vulnerable and appealing as a single mother. How can you say no to that face? Plus the music is incredible; you've got so many weird ambient shots with little to no dialogue, just people looking at stuff or each other, staring, the synth rising... it's amazing! So many reaction shots that go on for so long they cross over the line from awkward into fine art. Totally strange but I loved it.

I clearly can't get over this movie, so you should probably watch it, guys! Notice I didn't mention the plot at all. This is because I don't want to spoil you, and some people (like Greg) think that knowing anything at all about the plot, I mean anything, like even knowing who the characters are, could ruin the movie. I'm just keeping your best interests at heart. Go watch Drive.

Sherlock at the BFI

2011-12-09T08:45:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to put off posting about this until I actually have internet at my new flat, but by god, I'm going to post about it now, in my fourth hour here at Starbucks near Piccadilly Circus! Yesterday I spent like five hours in the Starbucks near Angel Station in Islington, but it's so small in there that I was worried the staff would start to hate me since I was always in their line of vision, so now I'm literally hiding in a corner upstairs in this bigger Piccadilly one, surrounded by foreigners. It's exciting and exhausting. Anyway, why am I talking about Starbucks? THERE ARE BIGGER THINGS AFOOT.

So. Wednesday night. I'm sure most of you aren't massive crazy Sherlock fans, and for that, I'm sorry. Not really, but pretend. Okay I'm sorry that you haven't seen BBC's Sherlock, which you should, and do it now, because series 2 airs on January 1st 2012, New Year's Day. Best New Year's present ever. But you know what's an even better present, a life present, that makes your entire life a giant pile of amazing? Being able to attend the BFI screening of Sherlock series 2 episode 1, "A Scandal in Belgravia," with your favorite London fandom friend. Which I did. All thanks, may I add, to Shaun, who bought and paid for a BFI membership and then called the BFI box office immediately upon its opening on the morning they started selling tickets to the screening. Needless to say it sold out pretty quickly, but she got us tickets, and I am FOREVER GRATEFUL to her and I owe her my soul, basically. (Thanks also, Shaun, for the photos in this post!)

So I'm gonna tell you a bit about the glory that was Wednesday night at the BFI. When Shaun and I showed up, there were tons of people sort of hovering outside waiting to be let into the theater where they were screening the episode. We could tell immediately that many of these were fangirls, and probably also on tumblr, which is hilarious and awesome and also kind of disturbing all at once. I had to pee because I'd just chugged a really weak mulled wine from a Christmas market stall, so we went and did that, and on the way back toward the theater doors we saw Moffat. I mean, everyone appreciates Steven Moffat. EVERYONE. I said, "oh my god" under my breath to keep from screaming it, and we froze and stared as he swaggered past all business-like. It was terrifying and beautiful. Then we giggled a bunch and I think I either punched, poked, or pinched Shaun like a billion times that night in fits of fangirl awe. You would have too.

When we finally went into the theater and found our seats, we were on full alert for possible cast and crew sightings, and we weren't let down. Pretty soon Andrew Scott (who plays Moriarty) sat down about five rows in front of us, and I kept saying, "Is that Andrew Scott? Right there, right there, is that Andrew Scott?" Shaun said, "Where, where?" and then the guy sitting next to Shaun said, "Yeah that's Andrew Scott." So I'm glad our crazed mutterings were heard by all those around us. But it was Andrew Scott! We eventually saw Moffat and Gatiss, who the girls sitting behind us immediately saw as well, and then Lara Pulver (who plays Irene Adler and is devastatingly gorgeous), and at last Benedict, wearing silly utility pants(?) and a turtleneck sweater, which he removed almost immediately to reveal a grey polo. You all care about what he wore, you know you do. He was sitting in the same row as Andrew Scott, so if I craned my neck, I could see the back of his curly blonde head. (Wow this is the creepiest post I've ever made.)

There was an intro by some BFI or BBC people, whatever blah blah blah, and then... the episode began. I won't give away any spoilers, because Moffat would likely turn up in my room at night and murder me gruesomely, but I will just say that it was above and beyond anything I'd expected. It was perfect, really, and I am absolutely dying to see it again in January. A lot of people (including myself) were worried about how they'd handle Irene, but in my opinion they did such a deft job of it and stayed true to the characters and the original ACD stories. Well done Moftiss; we should never have doubted you!

After the episode was a Q&A with Moffat, Gatiss, Benedict, and Lara, which was led by Caitlin Moran. It was pretty brief because another event was scheduled for the theater, but it was amazing to be there at all. Caitlin asked what everyone's favorite part in the episode was, and Mark Gatiss answered that his favorite bit was being there that night, seeing everyone's reactions to the episode and feeling really proud, etc. I thought that was great, and it brings a tear to my eye thinking of it (no seriously, it does).

Just being in the same room as so many of my heroes was overwhelming, and I think I was flushed and light-headed most of the night. I wish I could properly describe how incredible the night was. I kept saying to Shaun, "This is the best night of my fucking life!" Which is pretty much true.

After the screening I had to use the bathroom again, because my bladder is broken or something, so we ventured down to the restrooms, where we noticed a huge queue had gathered near what I presume was the green room or wherever the cast and crew were hiding. Shaun overheard that they were doing autographs, but Benedict would have to leave early because he had an interview, so would only be able to do a few before he left. We weren't sure what was going on beyond that, so we sort of stood to one side and then realized Mark Gatiss was making his way down the line, signing tickets and DVDs and stuff people had brought, as well as posing for photos. We were sort of overwhelmed and didn't really know what was happening, so we just watched in awe as he passed by and then realized we probably should have asked for a photo with him. Andrew Scott was coming next, and not to miss another opportunity, I said, "We're getting a photo with him!" so we got in line and when he came up, I asked for a photo and of course he obliged. He's ridiculously short and good-looking in person, I love him! So after that we naturally had to get a photo with everybody else.

Lara was heart-stoppingly beautiful, I can't even. I told her I loved her hair, and totally put my hand around her waist! Aahhh! You guys, she is ridiculous, I have a huge crush on her, I can't even.

And then I told Moffat he was amazing, which he's probably heard about a billion times, but it had to be said! Resisted temptation to touch his curly head.

After Moffat left it was quiet for a while. The queue was still there, and everyone was presumably waiting for Benedict, but Shaun and I weren't sure if he was coming back or not. We waited for a long while, and then finally Anderson Cooper's British lookalike came to tell us that Benedict was doing an interview but he knew we were waiting, and he'd be back soon. We still didn't want to get our hopes up that he would make it through everyone though, and we didn't know if he'd agree to photos with people, but it turned out he made it through the entire line, and took photos with everybody who asked! He seemed quite tired, understandably, but the fact that he put in the time and effort to see his fans and be so pleasant to us was amazing. I wouldn't have blamed him if he didn't come back and see us, or if he just signed a few things and left, but he made time for everyone which meant so much to us! I'm really in awe of every cast and crew member who was there, because they were so great and clearly they appreciate their fans. It was just an overwhelmingly inspiring and wonderful night!

HOLY AMAZEBALLS YOU GUYS

I'm still on a bit of a high from Wednesday night, and I'm sure it'll last until "A Scandal in Belgravia" is finally released on the BBC. January 1st can't come soon enough! And if you're still unsure whether you should watch Sherlock, well stop being unsure and WATCH IT, because it's one of the best shows out there at the moment, and one of the best shows ever made period, and for godsake it's written by Moftiss. How can it not be good?

Vienna Part 1

2011-12-02T15:57:00.000-08:00

I told myself I'd wait until after I moved to update again, but now I'm sitting here waiting to be tired enough to go to bed, and I figured I'd better just get this over with!

So of course, Vienna is a gorgeous city. I'd love to go back in spring or summer when it's not so cold I feel like I'm legitimately going to drop dead of hypothermia at any moment. However, the main reason for going was so we could see the Christmas Markets, which were so lovely and pretty much everything I love about Christmas!

I took so many photos that I can't possibly post them all here, nor can I fit them all in one post, so you may have to put up with a few Vienna posts for the next while. Sorries. These photos are all from the first day, just wandering around Prater (with the ferris wheel) and the city. In my next post I'll feature the Christmas Markets!

Wednesday

2011-11-30T14:40:00.000-08:00

So... sorry I've been such a lame-o blogger lately. Have this photo of an unrelated Christmas tree in Covent Garden as atonement! My excuse is that I've been distracted and stressed out about school, travel, moving, money, and everything else since I just love to be the mayor of Stress City. I went to Vienna over the weekend, which is beautiful, and I'll be uploading photos of that very shortly but not until after Saturday when my life will have calmed down a bit (hopefully). I'm moving from on-campus housing in Uxbridge to Walthamstow in Northeast London, where I'll be renting a room in a house with a few other girls. I say "house" but it's more like a townhouse/apartment with a bunch of bedrooms and a kitchen. I'm super excited though, because I'll be in Zone 3 instead of Zone 6, and therefore only 20 minutes away from central London instead of an hour. Uxbridge is lovely, but it's miles away from everything.

Since this post is pretty useless overall, I'll spice it up by sending you to my friend and classmate Lucy's new blog: You Should Have Seen Me Reading Marx (Pop Culture for the Unpopular). She's in my novel writing program so obviously she's a genius, and I'm endlessly jealous of her hilarious prose. Read her blog, I compel you!

Right. That's it, then. Oh, and this (which, if you haven't seen it, well you probs should):

Night Fog

2011-11-23T17:11:00.000-08:00

Are you tired of Big Ben photos yet? Better not be, 'cause have I got news for you! There are a few of them in this post.

A couple weekends ago Shaun and I went to the Lord Mayor's Show, which was basically a really long and excitingly British parade followed by fireworks over the Thames. It was super fun and dorky, and I took about a billion photos of the parade, some of which I will post here when I feel like sifting through all of them and picking out the good ones. After the fireworks we went to a pub Shaun had been to before and had many ciders and delicious veggie soup with bread and butter. Can I just say, the English have got the food thing down! You hear so many things in the States about how English food sucks, but they are wrong! English food rules. So there.

Anyway, on the way to the pub I took a few night shots, and then a couple hours later a nice heavy fog had settled over London. It was so beautiful, so I took a billion more photos. The Eye was particularly striking. I'll let the photos do the talking, though.

Stonehenge

2011-11-17T09:27:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday I went to Stonehenge with Shaun. She'd been there before but I hadn't, so I found a bus tour that only cost about £30, including admission to Stonehenge. I hate trying to sort out public transportation. Finding the quickest route plus cheapest fares is a pile of annoying in my opinion, so this worked out perfectly! We only had an hour to walk around the stones and take photos, as well as buy food (which I needed desperately), which we complained about for a while, but it turned out to be a pretty reasonable amount of time to wander slowly in a circle out in the cold.

I've always wanted to go to Stonehenge. I think it's one of the top 10 places I'd love to visit before I die (not sure; I never made an actual list), but now I can cross it off! It was a bit different than expected, just because it is literally right off the road, so you look a bit past the grazing sheep and there's the motorway. I didn't find this to be much of a mood killer, though. Stonehenge is so beautiful that you could stand it in the middle of London and it would still be this glorious, mysterious thing.

I was disappointed that it wasn't dreary and grey when we went (like every other day in England ever, except the one day I go to Stonehenge), but it was oddly sunny. I had this vision in my head of Stonehenge emerging out of a druidic fog, but it turned out to be so gorgeous anyway. The shadows on the stones, and cast across the unearthly green grass made the whole experience just as magical as if it'd been foggy and misted with rain. As we made our way around the stones the sun started to set, and I got a few great shots of Stonehenge with the beginnings of a sunset behind it.

Getting out of the city for even a short while was just what I needed. We got to shiver and breathe the cold English air for an hour, which was perfect! I can't wait to do more things outside of London. I need to make a list of all the castles and villages I'd like to visit, because clearly, you can't explore England unless you're pretending it's still Medieval Britain.

Pies and Pints

2011-11-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

Clearly, after a harrowing one-on-one tutorial on how one's writing is broken and needs fixing, the best remedy is pie and a pint. Clearly! Lucy and I thought so, anyway. Did you know I've never had a pie before? I mean a proper British one, with like... meat inside. We have pot pies in the States, but how often do you guys eat pot pies? Like never? And now my most recent memory of pot pies is the pilot of Grimm, where the wolf-man/kidnapper/pedophile(?) asks his most recent kidnappee if she would like a pot pie and she replies, "I want to go home!" So thanks a lot Grimm, I now associate pot pies with abduction and pedophilia. (Not even sure if the wolf guy was a pedophile, but he did seem the type.)

British pies aren't pot pies, though (I tell myself in a consoling whisper), so we went and got some pies. Lucy brought us to this pub, Chef & Brewer, which was in an awesome old building. Since every single old building is amazing to me, I had to take photos, but as I was doing so this guy drove up and started questioning me about why I was taking photos and whether I was with the press. Turns out he was the owner of the pub. "Uhhh," I said, articulately, "I just think the building is cool?" He seemed satisfied, but I was so freaked out because I thought he was going to say photos weren't allowed or something and then I would have cried a thousand tears. I blame my honking DSLR; the thing makes me look like I'm on an artistic mission every time I take a picture of something stupid like the sign for Dead Man's Hole. Which, admittedly, can be a good thing: I look like a photography student instead of a tourist. But still. Embarrassing.

Apparently they have the option of flat beer in England, you guys. I know. Flat beer. I asked the guy at the bar what was a good light beer (they don't have any beers I'm familiar with, since I'm a hipster who's used to Oregon microbrews), and he asked if I wanted a flat beer or a "lively" one. I went with a lively lager, because who doesn't want their beer to be lively, which turned out to be Foster's. It was pretty good! I guess it's Australian? Good job, Australia. I guess. Lucy got a Crabbie's, which is alcoholic ginger beer, you guys. (What the hell is ginger beer, you ask. I know, I didn't know either until I had to buy some for Shaun when she got all nauseous on Oxford Street, but it's basically ginger ale, as far as I can tell.) I think next time I'm gonna be drinkin' the Crabbie's. They also make a mulled ginger wine, which I need.

You guys should be jealous of our pie and pint experience, which definitely made up for the fact that I received a B on my writing submission instead of an A, and that I have no idea how to write in the way that I want to write. At least I've had a venison and merlot pie. Yeah, venison and merlot! There was also steak and ale, or some other one that I didn't read properly, but the venison and merlot turned out delicious, and the mashed potatoes and veggies were good too. Or "mash" and "veg" as they would say here. Ha, words.

Behold the glory of the venison and merlot pie. Look how bland it all is!

No clue what that awful face I'm making is all about.

So that's pretty much all I did today, aside from getting Starbucks, buying tampons, and making myself ill after eating a ton of my mom's chocolate chip cookies.

Before I go, though, check out these boats we saw! England has such cool things!

Mobile Uploads

2011-11-07T10:42:00.000-08:00

I've been amassing a mediocre collection of photography on my (awful Samsung) phone, taken when I didn't have a proper camera with me, so here are some of those photos. The one above is a poster for Noel Fielding's signing at the Oxford Street HMV, which Shaun and I were lucky enough to get wristbands to! We both now have signed copies of Noel's book Scribblings of a Madcap Shambleton, which is amazing. Dave Brown was there as well, and he drew a ghost with a bowler hat in mine. So awesome!

Sunset in Hyde Park.

Full English breakfast, complete with "bacon" and gross shriveled tomato thing. Seriously though, England, your bacon is not bacon. It is strips of ham. Just clearing that up. Also that bag in the right photo was carried around so much that one of the straps broke. Sadface! Must get a new mid-size bag.

From Saturday in Covent Garden. London is ready for Christmas! (As am I.)

This morning I got a bit lost while attempting a shortcut around campus, and found an amazing little church and cemetery. Think I might explore Uxbridge a bit more now that I know things like this exist.

Patrick Wolf

2011-11-06T10:08:00.000-08:00

I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the first time I listened to Patrick Wolf. It was late at night upstairs in my room at my parents' house, the summer of 2005, after my first year of college. Somebody on livejournal had recommended his album Wind in the Wires and uploaded it for me. The first song I listened to was "The Libertine", and immediately I loved it. Often my favorite artists or bands are acquired tastes, but with Patrick it was immediate. I listened to the entire album in one sitting, and I remember the next day raving about it to my friend Bethany. We went on a drive into the mountains, for whatever reason (we were 19 and emo?), and listened to Cantiga and Patrick Wolf. It was one of the best moments of my life, because our only purpose was to be in a beautiful world listening to beautiful music.

Now, six years later, I still get that feeling when I listen to Patrick Wolf. It's hard for me to put into words the love I have for him and his music, because I'm afraid whatever I say will cheapen it. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true! I've spent so many nights lying awake, depressed, listening to his music. I've spent so many days full of complete and utter joy, listening to his music. I've written stories while listening to it, I've fallen asleep to it. You know what I'm talking about if you have a favorite singer or musician or band. It's the music that speaks to your soul. I can't put it into words beyond that or this will just become a strange introspective piece on the inner workings of my psyche and spirituality or some crap, but you understand what I mean.

So on Friday I finally got to see Patrick live. It was at the Roundhouse in London, the last show on his Lupercalia tour. It was incredible. I'm still on a bit of a high from it, and I've been listening to nothing but Patrick Wolf on iTunes since then. He is an amazing performer. He connects with the crowd, he plays different instruments, dances, twirls, writhes and struts; he's like a creature from another world. He came out in a red jacket over a sparkly shirt and black ribbon bow tie, his hair all disheveled. For the encore he had a fake hawk on his shoulder. I can't handle how fabulous he is. He's this amazing, perfect balance of adorable and sexy, humble and confident; his music is at once joyous and sad. It was so overwhelming. I had a huge grin on my face the entire time.

Sadly I didn't bring my camera for the concert, because I was worried fiddling with it would distract me from the raw emotion of seeing Patrick live (I'm such a weirdo), but Shaun got some shots from the encore, which she was sweet enough to let me use in my blog post! Thank you Shaun. ♥

If you want to see some really amazing photos from the show, I highly suggest you check out this photoset on flickr. You can see Patrick in all of his red jacket fabulousness.

Also, I'm now convinced that my next tattoo will be of Patrick Wolf lyrics. I'd already thought about it for a while, but I'm decided. I think it'll be from his song "Paris" but I won't say which lyrics exactly. Not 'til they're branded on me forever!

Here's the first song I ever heard by Patrick Wolf, which remains one of my favorites to date: "The Libertine".

And here is one of my favorites from his latest album, Lupercalia, "Together".

You guys, if you're not listening to Patrick Wolf right now, fix that. He is seriously one of the most talented, beautiful, amazing people in the world. He's touched me more deeply than most things in my life have or ever will. I will always be in awe of him.

MCM Expo

2011-10-29T14:36:00.000-07:00

Today was quite long, and I grew some new blisters (as well as making a few old ones even bigger), but it was completely awesome, and worth it! This morning Shaun and I met up with my friend Hellen and her boyfriend Tim, and ventured into the jaws of the London MCM Expo. I didn't quite know what to expect (other than a ton of cosplay nerds, my fave), and it turned out to be tons of fun. I wish I'd taken more photos of cosplayers, but I was feeling shy and didn't want to stop every single dude dressed as the Eleventh Doctor for a photo. There were so many amazing costumes though, it was kind of overwhelming! I absolutely love that sort of thing; there was endless people-watching to be had.

I did get a picture of the Companion Cube for Greg (it was just sitting there, alone by the stairs), and various other randomness that will shortly follow. The highlight for me, though, was meeting Gideon Emery and Adam Howden, the voice actors of Fenris and Anders from Dragon Age 2. They totally signed photos of the characters, and I had to resist the urge to be like "CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING IN FENRIS'S VOICE BLAH OMG FANGIRL EXPLOSION." That would've been embarrassing. Instead I said to Gideon, "I ROMANCE FENRIS EVERY TIME I PLAY THROUGH," which is just as embarrassing, and on so many more levels. Sigh. At least I got a sweet caption out of it (lmao):

Adam, on the other hand, was totally mature in his.

(Look at lurking Edgeworth in the background!)

More weird fangirl goals: ACHIEVED! I need to make a check-list or something, because I'm racking up the nerdy celeb meetings. Here, have some more photos with captions written by me, right now.

First thing we found was "Cyber Candy" which is apparently street speak for "American junk food". There were so many people buying it! (We later found another table selling American food and bought a bunch of Twizzlers for £1.60 per tiny packet.)

Love this one of Shaun! She is surrounded by a milieu of geekdom. (Can you spot the half-assed Doctor cosplay in the background?)

So excited for the Avengers movie.

There was this steampunk area. Shaun was all "what's steampunk" so I explained it, and at first she was dubious, but after seeing a few men in steampunk cosplay now she won't shut up about it! Shaun: Officially Into Steampunk Now.

Awkwardly racist toy.

Companion Cube! I have not played Portal, but one day... I will.

These dudes were just hanging out in a cluster, having their pictures taken endlessly. I wonder what they look like in there. Are any of them women? Questions.

Creepy glowy-eyed Jawas.

Well guys, that's about it for photos of the Expo! I know, I totally dropped the ball on that one. Oh well, I won't mess it up next time. Next time I'll take a photo of every single Doctor cosplayer I see. Every single one.

In ~normal real life news~, after the Expo I went to look at a flat in Walthamstow, which I have high hopes for, but we'll leave it at that until I hear back from the landlord! Hope you're all having a fantastic weekend. ♥

Faraway Friends

2011-10-26T16:53:00.000-07:00

Feeling sentimental again. Or did I ever stop? I suppose my life is an unending cycle of sentimentality and melancholy, interspersed with moments of sleeping. I'm usually relatively happy, but lately I'm feeling like such a useless lump that it's hard. I am a useless lump; Greg confirmed it. I won't deny it. It's true.

I miss my friends. I mean, I always did, but tonight it actually hurts. Greg's absence has been hurting me every day since I flew out of Portland, I cry almost every night (I feel so pathetic typing that), but the absence of my friends has been a dull ache. Of course I miss them, but then I'm used to friends moving, going to college, leaving Montana, joining the Peace Corps, going to grad school. I was even the one leaving, once, but nobody really missed me except my mom, and I went to Portland where my best friends were. Now I've left them, not even a full two years later, and I'm alone again. Tonight the dull ache is a sharper pang.

I'm being a sadsack but if I can't be a sadsack in my own blog where the hell can I be one? I guess I'm writing this for my friends back in Portland, mostly. I miss you guys. I miss you guys so much. At the end of this stint in England, what I want most is to go back to Portland and see you all again, drink Oregon beer with you again, eat a shit-ton of Thai food because there's so much of it in Portland (and so little by comparison in London), and watch Trek in the Park or have coffee on Hawthorne. I think of home, and it's Portland. It's all of you there.

I don't know if I'll make it back. There are so many things that could happen in a year. I could be taken on by a British publishing house, doomed to spend years in London working with my agent and editing and promoting my novel (ha!). I could decide to fly back to Utah to meet Greg, and stay there for years. I might decide I need to cut all earthly bonds and ascend, like Daniel Jackson in SG-1. I could even fall so deeply in love with England that I could never imagine leaving. You never know. I accept that. I do. I think I do, a little. Maybe? ...I accept, anyway, that I don't know what's ahead.

I do know that if I had my way, "home" would always be in Portland. I'd have a city to go back to. Because ever since Missoula grew too small for me, I've only felt at home in one place, and it was my one-bedroom apartment in Southeast Portland. I fucking loved that place. It was the best place. Greg and I made it ours. It was our cozy Portland place. I miss it.

I don't regret a thing, though. London? I love it here! It's London! But it's huge, chaotic, and grasping. I imagine when it's done with me it'll spit me out, like an owl pellet, whereas Portland would always hold me close to its beating heart. I don't mind. London might be too much for me in the long-term, but there's always the rest of England. And the world.

You never know.

I do know that I miss you all. My friends. You mean more to me than anything else in the world. So come visit me, you giant lazy butts. ♥

Finally, though, I'm more than a pile of fucking grateful for Shaun, my fellow ex-patriot trapped in London's wonderful claws. We love it here. It's absolutely amazing. We're like adventurers, explorers, spelunking in the great foreign recesses of the city. Sometimes we get lost, feel lonely or homesick, have weird emotional outbursts for no reason, but at least we have each other. And we make this city pretty damn fun when we have a mind to.

This is the Business

2011-10-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

Promise I'll get back to your comments shortly! Meaning, right after I post this. (I do try to go back and reply to most comments if I have anything useful to say, and I know it's impossible to remember and nobody goes back to read replies, except maybe me, but I do reply to most comments if you are bored and want to see what I've said to you.)

ANYWAY, wanted to do a now rare outfit post. Didn't put much (if any?) effort into this. I did at first but somehow my camera ate the photos after I'd taken them and they disappeared from the memory card. Typical. Anyway I was like "UGH I guess I'll redo this then," and angrily drank my chai tea latte while doing so.

I'm wearing: H&M shorts and sweater, blouse from my dad (he got it in Kuwait so who the hell knows where), We Love Colors tights (the only tights I'll wear now), Blowfish shoes that you can't see.

In these photos I'm rocking out to "The Bike Song" by Mark Ronson & the Business Intl. Featuring some other vocal artists since Mark Ronson just produces, plays instruments, and stands around looking hot apparently.

Where did this blog post go? Not sure. I like how one day I'm super articulate and other days I'm like "I'M BORED WHY DON'T I RAMBLE ON THE BLOG FOR A WHILE." I really appreciate everybody who reads and comments, though. I truly do. The fact that people actually read my blog makes me want to cry happy tears for the rest of my life. Seriously.

In parting, have this embarrassing photo of me "dancing":

Nonsense

2011-10-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

Oh hi, many moons since I was last here. Not. HAHAHAHA is the "not joke" still hilarious? I still use it, regardless of its comedic value, because I find it hilarious!

Yeah.

So I'm having this issue of, "Where do I shop for super cheap and/or used clothing in London?" I've been to Primark, which is awesome, but I guess I'm curious about even cheaper options like charity shops. Is Oxfam pretty good? There's also this Heart Foundation shop on the Uxbridge high street that's really small but seems cool. Any other suggestions? I'm curious because 1) I need more sweaters for damn cheap, and 2) I need an Eleventh Doctor costume by Saturday the 29th so I can cosplay at the London MCM Expo. YES I'M JUST THAT COOL. So, suggestions? I'm so useless at London, you guys.

ALSOOO if anyone wants to be my friend and hang out in London or outside London at any point, unless you're a creeper/murderer, let me know! I've got like 2 friends here so I will cling to you like a crazy person! I mean friend. I'll cling to you like a friend. Just email me or comment or tweet me, and we can go take dumb photos of things! (I'm so pathetic I'm asking for friends on my blog.)

Okay well this post has been pointless. I love you all! ♥

Thoughts on England

2011-10-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

When I first got here, I had no idea what to expect. I'd never been to the UK before. I mean, let's be honest, I probably had more of an idea than most Americans upon disembarking at Heathrow Airport. I was, and am, a self-professed Anglophile so I wasn't coming here expecting to be catered to as a special snowflake American by a bunch of men in bowler hats saying "pip pip, cheerio," or something. In fact I've often wished it would be better if I'd just been born in the England so I wouldn't have to deal with all of this "moving overseas" business. However now that I'm here, I've been feeling homesick and missing all things American, instead of immersing myself in the English culture. Which is frustrating, but I feel a bit differently after today.

Today I had a moment of complete and utter love for England. I was walking from the bus stop to the Uxbridge tube station, and passed a pair of well-dressed middle-aged businessmen, probably on their lunch break, and I felt this surge of affection for them. Not them as individuals, but as English men doing their English thing. And I thought, here I am, in England, the place I've dreamed for years of one day visiting, and here are two ordinary, unassuming businessmen wearing shiny black shoes and speaking to one another in their fantastic accents, just living. I went all the way to the tube station feeling like I'd been plucked out of the sky and placed exactly where I was meant to be at that moment. It wasn't anything outwardly special; it was people at the outdoor Starbucks kiosk, paying in pound coins instead of dollars. It was the cold blustery outdoor seating at Costa's, an old man with a cream-filled donut, the melodic intonation of British accents all around me, and this overwhelming contentedness that made me smile like an idiot.

The bus ride from Uxbridge station to West Ruislip was eye-opening for me as well. I looked out the left side of the bus windows, which for some reason I never look out of when I'm taking that bus, but I did today. I saw these amazing houses. Seriously amazing. If you're from England you'll be rolling your eyes, but coming from America where our oldest buildings are from like 1970 (I exaggerate... barely), just the architecture here is the most incredible thing. And these houses, they were so gorgeous: slightly dilapidated in a loving, mossy sort of way, and they seemed to edge the countryside as though they were about to lose themselves in it, yet remained clinging to the outskirts of London despite themselves. They were beautiful.

There's also this pub, The Old Fox, and today I noticed as we drove past that there's an old red phone booth next to the car park, behind some overgrown shrubbery, just before a little pond that looks half-choked with grass and undergrowth. The phone booth leans precariously toward the pond, and it's clear that nobody uses it anymore. But it struck me as absolutely the most lovely thing I'd ever seen. A lonely, leaning phone booth. It almost set me off crying, but maps of Scotland did that for me already this week. Gotta keep it in check, Meg.

London is a vast, overwhelming, sensuous, heady, loud, fast, indescribable city. It truly is. If you've been to New York, that is nothing. It's really nothing compared to London, at least for me. London is so old, and so full of history and life and color and culture and sound and taste, that I can hardly breathe thinking about it. It's more than a human should be able to take, and yet we do, every day, and we don't appreciate it for what it is: it's poetry. It's music, history, and every story in the world, happening right now. That's what cities are, they're a trillion stories and feelings and thoughts happening all at once, taking shape in their buildings and streets and the rivers that cut through them. London is as loud as a scream and as subtle as a sigh. I can't fit it all inside, and sometimes I don't want to. It's too much for me, and in the midst of all that noise, I need something to hold me steady. Like the old phone booth by the green-choked pond.

London, with its unending need to consume, made me forget where I am. I forgot that I hadn't been deposited alone in a roiling mass of voices and faces and stone and sounds. I forgot that American pancakes weren't the most important thing in the world, and that I couldn't get them in London which made me want them all the more. I forgot that I wasn't trapped in what seemed like a beautiful foreign prison. So many people, so many places, and not one basket of bottomless fries and free refills on my large diet Coke? Not one Big Gulp? Not a single Olive Garden bread stick? That's all I could think, and it was frustrating, because all I had was this great baffling city and nothing that I wanted. Nothing felt familiar to me and I needed something I could latch onto and call mine.

So I latched onto this phone booth, and those businessmen. They weren't just another tile in the London mosaic for me. They were individual, they were England, and I feel so relieved.

Lately I've been thinking about what originally drew me to England, before all of the fangirl nonsense and dreams of bumping into Benedict Cumberbatch on the street. Why do I feel such an affinity for a place I've never been to? Why here? I looked into day trips out of London, into the countryside, and that's what reminded me. It's the English countryside. The British countryside, really; I'll take it all: Scotland, England, Wales, all of it. I'll even take Ireland, thanks very much. It's these isles, the ridiculously green dampness of them, the rain, the sea, the crumbling castles and Stonehenge and Yorkshire and the Cotswolds and the Scottish Highlands. I've not been to any of these places yet, but I look at pictures of them, I look at maps of Scotland for godsake, and I cry. I wish I could explain why this place effects me the way it does, but perhaps you don't need me to. Maybe some of you understand, and maybe some of you have your own places that make you cry just thinking of them. But when I look at photos of old stone houses covered in moss and ivy, it's like the part of my brain that processes photos of Britain is mainlined to my heart, and it aches for these places. It aches for wet green hills, dark seas, crumbling houses and sheep grazing within rock walls. That's why I came here.

London is all-consuming, just like any great city should be, and I love it for this. But I need to get out; I need to see the country, the soil, the trees and the sky. I need to stand under the clouds and get soaked in English rain. (Amongst other cheesy things.) Really, though, that's all I want. I just want to get out of the city and see England.

Doctor Who Experience

2011-10-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

Hey what's up? Oh, I'm good. Just chilling in the Tenth Doctor's TARDIS. As you do. No big deal.

Many things in my life are no big deal (such as running into Mark Gatiss; not even mentioning, that), but some things actually are, and the Doctor Who Experience is definitely a big deal, you guys! Not only do you get to take part in an adventure with the Doctor, you get to drive the TARDIS, get freaked out by various monsters (OMG Weeping Angels), and then look at cool props, costumes, and sets from the show. I may be a huge nerd, but I think it was totally worth the £17.50 admission! You'll have to ask Shaun if she agrees, haha.

Gonna do something a bit different and put captions under each photo, since I feel it is the most efficient way in which to relate the cool stuff we saw. Yeah.

First thing we saw after the "experience" was this hideous thing, i.e. a wax figure of Matt Smith. The guide told us it's an actual mold of his head, which I find terrifying.

This is an actual TARDIS they used in filming, so we are told! The guide said he took a picture of it and then watched an episode and actually matched up the wood grain on them so clearly he has put in the research.

DAVID TENNANT WAS IN THIS. Apparently the jacket is actually made from a pair of trousers! Which worked better in the end, because they would've had to alter a jacket for the skinny boy anyway.

For those of you who are Fourth Doctor fans. That scarf is amazing.

The Ponds! I love Amy's wardrobe from series 5. Not so much from series 6, but what can you do.

I need these signs in my room.

I miss Ten's TARDIS a little bit! To make matters worse they had a screen in the background showing Ten's regeneration into Eleven, so it was like, thanks for making me cry in the TARDIS, guys.

Shaun in the TARDIS! She's the perfect fandom buddy, let me tell you.

Creepy as fuck. There were also a few of these bastards hanging from the ceiling in a corner somewhere but I couldn't get a proper photo of them.

Are you my mummy?

Dalek line-up! They had all the Daleks since the beginning of the show but I was only bothered with the last two. Lazy.

Last but not least, the Face of Boe. He's my favorite alien in the show, bar none! Well, not including the Doctor of course.

So there you have it, the Doctor Who Experience! If you're in London and a fan of Doctor Who and you can spare the monies, it's really worth it. So much fun to see all the costumes and everything, I really love that kind of thing! Especially since they're the ones that were actually worn by the actors. I failed to take photos of them but they also had Donna, Martha, and Rose's costumes as well as Jack Harkness and one of River Song's dresses, plus a bunch of other minor characters. Loved it!

This Weather

2011-10-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

So I'd written a bunch of stuff to post here, but then it all reminded me of this quote from American Beauty, so I may as well just leave that with you. (As well as a bunch of grey, sad photos I took while walking from St Paul's Cathedral to the Tower of London.)

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I realized there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."

- American Beauty

Some Pictures

2011-10-10T11:06:00.000-07:00

I think I'm getting sick and I have a bunch of reading to do for class on Wednesday, so unfortunately nothing interesting happening here. I'll post some of the pictures I took on Friday while walking around with Hellen and visiting the British Museum.

Mark Fucking Gatiss

2011-10-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

So, I mean nothing too noteworthy or anything, but I thought I'd just let you guys know I bumped into Mark Gatiss today at Forbidden Planet. No big deal.

... NO BIG DEAL.

I can't though you guys, I can't. I can't even. I was in the Doctor Who section with my friend Hellen, and then I looked over and thought, hmmm that guy looks like Mark Gatiss, so I blatantly gawked at him until I realized, oh dear god that actually IS Mark Gatiss, and then as he began to leave, knowing an opportunity to fangirl was passing me by, I said, "Mark Gatiss?" He turned all awkwardly and said, "Yes?" and I was just like "Hi!" and not sure what horrendously embarrassing words came out of my mouth, but I managed to shake his hand, and made poor Hellen take a picture with my confusing-as-fuck camera, so when she finally found the shutter button I was turned saying, "Sorry!" It looks like I'm staring at him, awestruck. I kind of like the effect.

At any rate I was in a state of giddy disbelief for a while after that, and tried to text Shaun about it but kept accidentally putting my phone into sleep mode because my brain wasn't working properly.

Can I just say? London has been pretty fucking FANTASTIC so far.

Bacon Buttie

2011-10-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to avoid a run-in with the cleaning ladies today (it was my turn to have my en-suite bathroom cleaned), I went into Uxbridge for breakfast and half-assed job hunting. The former was successful, the latter not so much. Thankfully it's a nice chilly day today, blustery and damp, so I was able to wear tights and a sweater, yay. I'm easily pleased.

I ended up at Starbucks for breakfast because it's familiar and I know how to pay there (still intimidated by every eating establishment in England as I've no idea how to pay or tip or anything so I just try not to do it at all). To my delight, I found weird British food things at Starbucks! I almost bought a mature cheddar and mushroom croissant, but ended up with a bacon buttie. A bacon buttie. It said on the wrapper, "Bacon Buttie." EVERYTHING HERE SOUNDS HILARIOUS. So I got a bacon buttie with brown sauce and a latte, and it was delicious, and it was a bacon buttie.

Uxbridge is a pretty cool place. I like it. There's a shopping center so I don't feel like I'm in the sticks, but it's friendly and dare I say quaint (the man at the computer center on campus told me it wasn't quaint, but he isn't from the Land of Everything New, i.e. America, so). I mean, there's stained glass in the tube station! Quaint.

Not so excitingly quaint was my "job hunting" adventure. I went into several shops in Chimes and asked if they were hiring. They all said they'd just hired someone recently, except River Island, which claimed to be hiring but she told me I had to apply on the website. Of course I came home and went on the website and naturally there weren't any vacancies listed there. Frustration. Any tips for part-time jobs in London? I've no idea of the best way to go about it, and I'm unfamiliar with most shops here so if anybody has any suggestions I'd be beyond grateful for them.

In other news, I finally got my MoriarTea shirt from Qwertee! I promptly cut off the collar and made it a boat neck because I won't wear crew neck shirts unless they're pajamas. I have a phobia of things around my neck, plus I feel like they make me look fat. I KNOW, completely stupid but there it is. Anyway I love how the shirt came out, and will def wear it around hoping to be spotted by fellow Sherlockians. (No, I'm not wearing pants. It's called laziness.)

Best Day Ever

2011-10-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

Today. Was. Ridiculous. You know those days where everything goes right and it seems as though the universe is aligning itself for the sole purpose of giving you an incredible day? Well that was not today. In any way. Today, everything went as awry as it possibly could have. Well, not everything, I suppose, but many many things!

It began with a groggy noon-thirty scroll through my facebook news feed. I have the David Tennant page "liked" so I sometimes get random news about him that I would normally just disregard and scroll past. However, I noticed something about signings and meeting him, and I looked closer, and there was an event. An event? Here in London! With DAVID TENNANT! AN EVENT WHERE YOU GET TO MEET DAVID TENNANT IN LONDON. (Called EMS, incidentally, but it's over now.) After that everything went to hell. I ran around my room, heart beating a billion times a minute, adrenaline rush negating any need for breakfast, so I shot Shaun a text, grabbed my camera, and bolted out of my room on a mission to Earl's Court.

After that was when the "awry" started happening. Trains from Uxbridge were closed for whatever godforsaken reason, so I had to take a replacement service bus to West Ruislip, from there took the Central Line to White City, then walked over to the Hammersmith Line and took that down to Hammersmith, from where, I took the Piccadilly Line to Earl's Court.

By the way, there is no air conditioning on the tube. It was about 80 degrees today. Before I even got to the exhibition center I was dehydrated, sweaty, stinky, and exhausted. Even so, I made my way to the exhibition center, at which point I discovered that autographs from David Tennant were £35 (actually turned out to be £45 in the end but what's ten more pounds). I did not have £35 in cash, which I figured I'd need (turns out I didn't really), so I went to the ATM. It was out of cash. The member of staff told me I needed to go back to Earl's Court in order to find a working one.

On the way back to the station I saw a man dressed as the Tenth Doctor so I asked for a photo. When I turned on my camera I realized: I'd left the memory card at home. Noooo! How could I attend a nerd convention without my camera?! So, panicked, I returned to Earl's Court station and asked a man at a kiosk if he sold camera memory cards. He did not. I asked where the ATM was. He said around the block, on the high street. I asked where I could find a memory card, and he said on the high street as well. I said thanks and went toward the high street.

By this time my feet already hurt, I was giddy and light-headed from lack of nutrients (I'd only had a Gatorade or something which was oddly carbonated), and I was terrified I'd miss the Tennant signing so I was hurrying about with a crazed look in my eye.

Turning the corner from Earl's Court, I saw a cluster of Doctor Who cosplayers. I recognized them by the tall ginger dressed as a police kissogram, and I gasped and said, "Amy Pond!" As I trotted off (on a mission, remember), I heard the Amy cosplayer say excitedly to her friends, "She had a TARDIS tattoo on her arm! Did you see?" It made my day! Well, among other things.

Let's skip to the part where I found a memory card on Earl's Court Road, took cash out of a nearby cash machine, and booked it back to the exhibition center wherein David Tennant awaited me. I was sweaty and disgusting, but luckily I'd straightened my hair the night before (good thinking Meg), and had, on a stroke of genius, brought my comb with which to fix my bangs. Thank god, otherwise I'd have looked a right crazy person.

Right. Let's see some of the sights that met me upon my arrival at the Entertainment Media Show.

Okay this is great -- they had a stall selling American Stuff! LMFAO. Lucky Charms, Pop Tarts, Skittles? I had no idea this was a commodity at English geek conventions. I was so amused so I took photos.

Anyway, back the topic at hand: the deal with the Tennant signing was that you had to get a little ticket that had a number on, and when your number was written on the little white board (as shown at the beginning of this post), you could queue up for an autograph. I ended up buying some swag while waiting, because I found out you could pay for your autograph by credit card, so I spent a bit of my cash (I'm so responsible) and then bought vouchers for the signing with my debit card, and after that spent more of my cash on an autograph from Joe Flanigan from Stargate Atlantis. I pretty much just throw cash at celebs from geeky shows now.

So long story short I ended up in line for David Tennant, and I was so nervous and excited (and malnourished) that I was shaking. I'd dropped my camera earlier due to the strap coming undone (don't worry Dad it's fine), so I was clutching that under one arm, I had a bag of swag on my wrist, and a photo for David to sign in the other hand. I felt so awkward as I neared him, and I prepared my TARDIS tattoo in preparation to show it to him, but as soon as it was my turn... I clammed up. I absolutely froze. He signed the photo, looked up at me (into my eyes), and said, "There you go," in that glorious Scottish voice from the gods. I smiled as ridiculously as only a fangirl could and said, "Thank you!" before scampering off in a dizzy rush. And that was that.

I know, how lame, I didn't even show him my tattoo, I didn't say how much I love him, or that he's amazing, or that I dream about him often or that his freckles are so beautiful or that I've drawn renditions of him on many post-it notes to pass the time at work because he is the perfect Doctor in my mind. I didn't say it. Not any of it! Ugh, I am so awkward. Epic fail. Although I'm sure we can all agree it would've been horrible if I'd mentioned the freckles thing.

Anyway, here's a stupid photo I took while waiting in line. GUESS WHO:

DAVID I LOVE YOU.

Now that that's out of my system...

Oh yes, I mentioned Joe Flanigan. Well! Some of you may know that I am a huge fan of Stargate in all its forms, except for Stargate Universe, which was dumb and trying too hard to be like Battlestar Galactica. So the fact that John Sheppard, I mean Joe Flanigan was there got me super excited. I kept slowly walking past his little section of table, taking photos from afar before shuffling away, but finally I worked up the courage (and £15) to meet him. By the time I went up there the con was on its way to closing, so not many people were about. I picked out my favorite photo and gave my name to the member of staff so he could personalize it, and went up to him. You may imagine I was suave, that I played it cool and was like, "Oh hey Joe. What's up. I'm just hanging out, you know, being smooth and cool and collected," but no. Not whatsoever. I rambled at him, you guys. I RAMBLED SO MUCH. I was still giddy from David Tennant, and I hadn't eaten, and I just went off. I said something like, "I'm such a huge Stargate fan, seriously! I've been working up the nerve to come over here forever! I seriously loved Stargate Atlantis! I was on the tube for hours on the way here, dying of heat! Oh, I came in from Uxbridge! Yeah I'm American, hahahaahahahaha yeah! Oh I saw David Tennant earlier that was fun, can I have a photo?! ...No that's not how it works, sorry, you have to look through the viewfinder, sorry, yeah, no just use the lens to zoom out, sorry, yeah it should... There you go, yeah, did it work? No, okay another one, okay... okay yay! Thanks! Good! Thanks for the photo! Okay this was awesome, you made my day seriously! Thank you so much, okay bye!" That is, not joking, almost exactly how it went. I mean he said things in the midst of it, like "Oh you're American" and "Where did you come in from" and "It was nice meeting you" but... oh god. I am such a spaz, you guys. Such. A spaz. FML.

OH WELL, I got a photo at least! Even after the staff lady had a million issues using my camera, and clearly didn't hear what I said about zooming out with the lens. Oh well, I think I look rather okay, despite internally having a seizure and having run all over London in the hot sun for hours beforehand. Go me! (It's the straight hair, I swear. Saves you from all kinds of frumpiness.)

At the end of the day, I came away with some pretty awesome swag (photos 5 for £10!):

Mission: accomplished. Of course the trek home was its own adventure, which I will tell briefly. I made it all the way back to Uxbridge on nothing but Gatorade, water, and a small muffin. By then it was 7:50pm. I was waiting for the bus, and was suddenly overcome with the feeling that I was about to faint. So, not really looking forward to passing out on the overly hot bus back to Brunel, I ran across the street to The Good Yarn, a pub I'd gone to earlier in the week with Shaun. I asked for water and chips, and planted myself at a table for the next hour. It took me about that long to recover, after three glasses of water and a bowl of chips (i.e. French fries, just in case anyone reading this is super American). When I was considering going back out to catch the bus, a random drunk man came up to me and decided we should be friends. Turned out he'd been drinking all day watching football (soccer), came to the pub, and was now apparently chatting up girls half his age. His name was John and he was a London cab driver. I wanted to ask if he ever thought of using his profession as a way to kidnap and murder people, but I didn't think that would go over well and I doubt he was a fan of Sherlock anyway.

Here's me in the bathroom of the pub, reacting to the events of the day:

And there's The Good Yarn! It's a pretty awesome pub. Every time I've gone in there it's mostly old British dudes drinking pints, and they have some super cheap food. Shaun and I got sausages, chips, and beans (3 sausages each, guys) for £3.20 apiece. Ridiculously awesome! If you visit me I'll take you there, guaranteed.

So, long story long, I think today was a success. I came home to all of my flat mates having a bit of a party in the kitchen, so I joined them and was offered wine and gherkins (tiny pickles), the latter of which I refused. Now I'm still completely jacked up from everything, although I think if I got in bed I might just pass out instantaneously. You never know until you try.

Aaaand last but not least:

My Room

2011-10-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

Like a proper genius, I failed to bring my Canon with me yesterday on my adventures. Thus you will not see photos of them in my blog. Woe! You may ask, "What did you do yesterday that I should care about or want photos from?" Well! I'll tell you, even if you didn't ask that and are just scrolling down hoping for some more double-decker bus photos. Sorry, nope, just pictures of my room in fact.

As I said, though, I had adventures yesterday! First, I went and toured the BBC Television Center with Shaun. I had a hell of a time with public transport on the way there, and long story short I showed up several minutes late, but they'd waited for me thanks to Shaun, and therefore we had a magical fangirly time in the BBC. It was really fun, and the two tour guides were informative as well as hilarious, so it was perfect. There were photos and quotes from various BBC shows along the hallways, and every time we saw something from Sherlock or Doctor Who we'd flail and squee, and once we saw a photo of Mark Gatiss which was exciting, and we also saw things like Cyberman heads and Daleks and the TARDIS (again? How many are there in London?). Run-on sentence, sorry, but the excitement cannot be contained in a normal-length sentence!

After the BBC we had a quick bite and then took the tube to Camden Town, which turns out to be amazing, and which I'd better just let you experience for yourselves in the form of my fabulous photography the next time I go there. It was really a feast for the senses, with stalls of food and clothing and jewelery and lots of pubs and music and vintage shops and countless statues of horses for some reason. It was incredible, and so fun. I'll definitely be back to take a billion pictures. So, patience.

Now that that's out of the way, I thought I'd post some more boring day-to-day photos, mostly for my mom, and for friends back home who I'm sure are just dying to see what my dorm room is like. Hint: it looks like every other dorm room in the entire world.

Before you ask, yes I am watching Doctor Who Confidential on my Macbook. I'm depressed that they canceled it; what a great show. It was almost more fun than Doctor Who itself, but only just.

As you can see I didn't bother to straighten up before taking photos of the room. There's an empty water bottle on the floor by my bed under the window, if you missed it. Classy stuff happening right there. Also those Cheddars on my desk are addictive and I urge you to stay away from them! They're worse than Pringles. Well, maybe not worse but I definitely popped and I can't stop. Harr harr. Also I bought PG Tips because they didn't have English Breakfast at the campus market (how dare they), but I haven't had it yet as it's been too warm to drink hot tea. I'm scared it'll be gross and I bought a whole box of the stuff.

Clearly it's time for me to stop writing here or I'll just start rambling about completely random things, such as my classes, which nobody needs to hear about. Maybe I'll share some of my ~deep thoughts~ in a later post, but for now, this is all you get.

Lazy Monday

2011-09-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

Being a dweeb in my dorm room, as usual, but this time taking photos. As you can see I don't have anything on the walls yet, mostly because I keep forgetting to buy thumbtacks and/or sticky tack (do these exist in the UK?), and also because I haven't anything to hang on the walls yet. I'm thinking I need a "keep calm and [insert nerdy thing here]" poster, as well as something Doctor Who or Sherlock related, but not sure yet where to acquire those. I also need to pick up some cheap frames for the rest of the photos I printed out of Greg! I miss that boy more than anything right now.

Other than lack of real decorations, I do like my room a lot. Having an en-suite bathroom is pretty awesome, because sharing bathrooms is so seven years ago (can you believe it's seven years ago I was a freshman in college? JEEEZ). The bed came equipped with sheets, a pillow, and a down comforter, but why is the duvet such a gross color? Sigh, we takes what we gets I guess! At least Leppy, the green pillow (which my mom left behind, not sure if she meant to), my red throw, and my Union Jack make things cozier.

I did a bit of shopping today in Uxbridge; just some essentials. I wandered in the Chimes shopping center and checked out New Look and River Island, but steered away from Topshop as I know I shouldn't spend that much money. Going shopping again with Shaun on Thursday though, so maybe I'll cave and buy one or two things. I am in need of a winter coat, a slightly bigger purse (my current one hasn't quite been cutting it), a coin purse, and maybe some winter boots but I'll probs hold off on those for a while. I did end up getting a saucepan and a frying pan from TK Maxx, which is basically TJ Maxx but British. Also got a tiny strainer for pasta and a wooden spoon for stirring purposes. I think I'm all set to make beans or pasta, and to fry up those frozen sausages I bought! Excite. Oh and I also got some Pepsi Max, toilet paper, and cereal from Poundland. Need to find a tiny thing of milk, and some tea, and I think I'll be pretty much set.

Now that you are aware of my shopping lists, oh boy, I think I'll go get some reading done before I get sucked into tumblr or fanfic or something. Must be responsible now! I'm a grad student after all.

Evening in London

2011-09-25T10:51:00.000-07:00

Went into the city again yesterday and met up with Shaun to see Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy at the Odeon in Leicester Square. First thing you need to know: Leicester is not pronounced "Ly-chester", but rather as "Lester". Luckily they have an automated voice telling you this on the tube, otherwise I'd have made an idiot of myself I'm sure. Although I assume Shaun doesn't mind my occasional bumbling mispronunciations!

Second thing you need to know is: Movies in central London cost a fuck-tonne. (Notice how I spelled "ton" in the British way, lawl, I'm hilarious.) That's right. A giant massive fuck-tonne of monies. In a fit of masochism I googled "how many dollars in 16 pounds" and came up with about $24.64. For one movie! I can tell you now that I won't be doing that very often. Luckily it was totally worth it, one because the movie was awesome (even though we weren't sure exactly what happened in it) and the theater itself was an experience, and two because BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH. I think 90% of Shaun's and my conversation revolves around this poor man. He's our patron saint of fangirldom. So really, it was a $24.64 well spent because we got to see Bennie wearing nice suits with powder blue ties for two hours.

After the movie it was pretty much evening so we wandered through Soho to Covent Garden and finally found a place to eat. We both got spaghetti bolognaise, Shaun's with a Pimm's and mine with a pint of London Pride. Warning, London Pride is a mediocre beer that tastes vaguely skunky. It was drinkable but only just. Do not buy.

Here are a few photos I took yesterday evening, one of China Town (which is incredible at night, it turns out), and then the Eye and Big Ben and Westminster Abbey all lit up. I didn't bring my Canon into the city so these are just on my crappy point-and-shoot, sorry, but I'll do this again later and get some nice long-exposure photos of Big Ben.

Sherlock Holmes Adventure

2011-09-23T17:09:00.000-07:00

Oh. My god. First let me just say: today was the best day. EVER. Look at that picture up there. Just look at it. Do you recognize it? Do you? Hmm I wonder why it could be such an interesting place... OH WAIT IT'S BECAUSE THEY FILMED SHERLOCK THERE. That's right, it's the outside of 221b Baker Street in BBC's Sherlock, only my favorite thing in the world ever (aside from Doctor Who and Greg and Dr Pepper)!

So let me just explain. My friend Shaun, who I know from way back in Montana, was the one who initially inspired me to move to London for grad school because she was coming here to study Library Science. She arrived in London a day before me, so we finally met up today to have a day of Sherlocky fangirl adventure! The first stop on our list was, of course, Speedy's Cafe on North Gower Street. We had lunch of fish & chips there, and discussed many dorky things and giggled a lot and were giddy. It pretty much ruled. If you like Sherlock and are able, you should go there; the man working there (the owner?) will tell you all about the filming and stuff. Amazeballs!

Our tour didn't stop there, though. After the fake Baker Street we headed over to the actual 221b Baker Street and the Sherlock Holmes Museum. Turned out that tickets were 6 pounds (jeez Louise), so we just went into the gift shop and took photos of that and each bought a little Baker Street plaque for 4 pounds before leaving. It was super dorky and tons of fun.

After Baker Street we took the tube to Piccadilly Circus (which is not, contrary to what I used to believe, an actual circus with elephants and a tent). While waiting for the train we discovered that, excitingly enough, the Baker Street tube station is chock full of Sherlock Holmes's visage! Behold.

Oh man. The awesome things never end in London, you guys. Even the tube stations are full of photo ops. Anyway, Piccadilly Circus was incredible, and kind of felt like the Times Square of London but with a lot fewer flashy lights and more double-decker buses. There were human statues lining the street, people piled onto every conceivable sitting place, and a constant moving throng of humanity on all sides. I loved it. Can you spot me freaking the eff out below?

London is a lot more fun with a friend who's been there before. Shaun lived in London for four months while studying abroad in college, so she knew her way around for the most part and took us from Piccadilly Circus down to Trafalgar Square. The walk there was beautiful in itself; I can't get enough of the architecture here. You just don't get that kind of old stately beauty in the States, you really don't.

Trafalgar Square was exciting as well, but the sun was so bright I didn't get many decent photos there so you'll have to wait to see the lions and Nelson's Penis Tower or whatever until later. We did go into the National Portrait Gallery because we'd heard a photo of Benedict Cumberbatch might be in there, but sadly it must have been removed months before and was no longer on display. It was just before this discovery that we'd both wolfed down Mars bars at an inhuman speed, so needless to say we were disappointed and nauseous.

Not to be daunted, however, we decided to "walk it off" by ambling up into Soho. At first we thought it was some weird strip club neighborhood, but soon we came out of a little alley into a cool hipster-y street with weird hipster cafes and many fabric shops.

If that weren't exciting enough, eventually we ended up on Oxford Street, which... let me tell you. It is full, chock-full, of shopping. There are two H&Ms within like a block of each other. Two! Should that be allowed? That should not be allowed. And yet it is. We mere mortals shall not complain. There was also Aldo, New Look, American Apparel, Urban Outfitters, and a bunch of other shops to tempt us. Luckily Shaun had a play to get to at 7:30, so we did some quick shopping in H&M (I limited myself! I swear!) and then took the Bakerloo line together before parting ways at the Piccadilly line. I nearly fell asleep on the way back to Uxbridge; that's how exciting my day was! Super exciting, guys. Super exciting.

Sorry I didn't take any photos in Soho, it wasn't stereotypically British enough for me. I only take photos of the Union Jack, double-decker buses, and Big Ben. Tough luck. ♥

London Calling

2011-09-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

Home again home again jiggity jig! Oh wait I'm not home, I'm thousands of miles away from my home country. I always thought of England as my soul's home, but the past few days have been so hectic and exhausting that I'm rethinking that assumption.

That's not to say it's awful here; it's not! It's incredible! But I'm suffering from jet lag (still), culture shock, homesickness, crippling fear and introversion, and an extreme case of missing Greg. I'm so glad to be here, but it may be a while before I feel comfortable and happy here. Real life is overwhelming; I kinda just want to do touristy things forever.

Luckily my mom and I were able to take the tube into the city yesterday, so here are some photos from that. It was a lot of fun, and of course the first thing I wanted to see was the TARDIS at Earl's Court! (Not to mention Earl's Court and all the Underground stations totally makes me think of Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman.)

Anyway I'd write more but at the moment my computer is going so slow it's like 1995. I think I may just burst a blood vessel in my brain if I try to navigate this nonsense any longer. Hopefully I'll do a proper update about my life soon. There are so many things to write about!

Coastal Date

2011-09-16T22:54:00.000-07:00

For our last Friday together before I leave for ye olde England, Greg and I drove to the coast for a day of tourist shenanigans. We started out in Seaside, where we had lunch and a ton of coffee (on my part), walked along the boardwalk, bought way too much bulk candy at the candy shop, looked at a weird carousel, and generally wandered about.

Then we drove south to Cannon Beach, one of my favorite places. I took a ridiculous amount of photos of Haystack Rock (seen above and below), and we took off our shoes and walked along the beach for a while. It was super nice. After a root beer that was so sweet it was gross, we decided we should go to Tillamook (we were heading south anyway) to see the cheese factory. It was a gorgeous drive, and we pulled over at one of the scenic overlooks and it was honestly one of the most beautiful views I've ever seen. I'm gonna miss you, Oregon!

The cheese factory was all right; I didn't take any photos, but we did get some cheese samples and Greg got a two-foot-long meat stick or something. Not sure what exactly it was but it tasted good, like a meat stick should. Mmmm two-foot-long meat stick.

Right now I'm listening to The Crane Wife by The Decemberists and waiting to watch the new Karate Kid with Greg. Tomorrow we're going to breakfast with my two best friends and their respective gentlemen, and it'll be bittersweet because I'll have to say goodbye. I'm not looking forward to that part. Crying sucks. I will miss you, my Rose and Ashleigh! ♥

Raggedy Doctor

2011-09-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd take some photos of my little Raggedy Doctor for the blog. My friends got him for me in Seattle as a going away gift and a thank you for taking care of their dog while they were gone, and I love him! Raggedy Doctor. ♥

I was going to write up a review of "Night Terrors" for the blog, but I really have nothing to say except: Gatiss, you are amazing; Doctor, you are adorable. Dolls are fucking scary. The end.

I'm currently overwhelmed with things I need to do, things I want to do, shows I want to watch, and people I want to spend time with before I leave in less than two weeks. None of it seems real, of course, and I'll wake up in a moment and life will be back to normal. For the time being, though, I suppose I'd better go along with the dream and make a to-do list or two... I guess.

For tonight, though, I'll just keep watching The Last Enemy for the sole purpose of Benedict Cumberbatch.

Garden of the Gods

2011-09-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

While in Colorado for the family reunion, my dad, his fiancee, and I went to the Garden of the Gods and Manitou Springs in an attempt to entertain ourselves away from the fam for a few hours. I really liked Manitou Springs; it's a tiny tourist town with weird shops and old-timey buildings, which always excites me! If you've ever been to Bigfork, Montana, it perfectly exemplifies my favorite kind of little touristy town. I'm also a fan of Victoria, BC for similar reasons, but it's not very tiny.

I don't have a ton to say today, as I haven't had my coffee yet and I'm constantly scatter-brained (and will be until I get to London, I imagine). Just wanted to show you these photos, mostly.

It was nice to get to finally meet my dad's fiancee, Pam. I was predisposed not to like her, but she meets with my reluctant approval. Is it one of those things that no matter what, you'll never be 100% okay with who your parents date/marry after they get divorced? Or am I just a petulant brat? Thank goodness my parents have good taste, or I'd be in a constant state of sulkiness in regards to their love lives. "You want to date him? Uuugh." That sort of thing. Have any of you, as adults, experienced a recent parental divorce? I'm still getting over my parents' divorce, and I'm curious to hear how others dealt with a similar situation. Three or four years later and I'm still sad about it. Maybe I need to just suck it up.

Okay sorry, no more downer talk! Pam is a great woman and I'm glad my dad has somebody to look after him. Now I'm going to scour the internet for Doctor Who.

Let's Kill Hitler

2011-08-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

It's that time again! Time for Doctor Who, and much happiness in my fangirl heart. Admittedly the premiere of the second half of season 6 (mouthful!) was all of four days ago, but I'm still in the throes of awesome overload, and thus it's the perfect time for me to write up a review of the episode. If you haven't yet seen it, you may want to come back and read my ramblings later once you have. Spoilers!

Warning: this "review" is disjointed and uses lots of sentences full of commas. I'm writing under the impression that if you're reading this you've seen the episode, so it's not so much a summary as a series of reactions to things that happened. You've been warned.

Considering the title of the episode is "Let's Kill Hitler" (which I took every opportunity to say and then giggle about in the week before the episode aired), the Führer shows up for only a brief stint, and then presumably stays locked in a cupboard for the rest of it. This is a bit of a relief, since I was trying to imagine a tasteful way for an episode of Doctor Who to be about killing Hitler, but all in all the whole Hitler bit was quick and funny and more about the Ponds being badass than anything else. Which, admittedly, is always awesome. I love them Ponds! ♥

So really, for a mid-season premiere, I enjoyed this episode immensely and it lived up to all expectations. Last we saw the Doctor he was setting out to find Melody Pond, and the parental Ponds were still in relative shock after discovering that their daughter was in fact River Song. "Hitler" begins some months later, presumably, with the Ponds using cutting-edge crop circle technology to summon the Doctor. There we get to meet Mels, the Ponds' lifelong best friend and matchmaker. (The flashback bit with the three of them is ridiculously adorable -- poor Rory!) It's really great to get a look at how Amy and Rory actually got together, and even though suddenly being asked to accept this new Mels character as their lifelong friend is jarring, it works for me.

I think, from the beginning, I had an inkling that Mels was Melody. Firstly, her name is Mels for godsake. Of course it's short for Melody. And then she's got River-esque hair for one thing, and that attitude for another. I suppose I was meant to be really shocked when she starts to regenerate, but I knew from the moment she was shot -- oh god she's going to regenerate into Alex Kingston! Ta-da, she did.

Loved the regeneration scene, though. It's always great watching the Doctor discover his new body, and this time we get a lady Time Lord! A sexy one at that. I loved it, and I love Alex Kingston, and I love River. So all of it was hilarious and wonderful. When she gets all up on the Doctor against Hitler's desk, and the Doctor is clearly so flustered -- brilliant moment. Their chemistry is so perfect, as always, and the more we get to see their relationship in the show, the more I love it. But then again I'm a sucker for semi-tragic time travel love stories, so.

I feel like this episode was mostly a "this is how River's story truly begins" sort of episode, and it didn't really need all of that justice robot nonsense. It was important for Mels at the end to see that she was, indeed, River Song, but I'm sure they could have just said "Oh by the way, you are River Song," instead of having the tessalector take on her appearance, but I guess it was a lot more poignant that way.

I've heard a complaint or two that there wasn't enough development between the moment when River poisons the Doctor, and when she decides to save his life by making an enormous personal sacrifice. Since this change is at the crux of the episode, I think it's important to discuss further. River was, after all, trained and conditioned to be nothing but a Doctor-killing machine. It does seem like a big change to have undergone, considering the reason for her existence up until then was to get to the Doctor and then kill him (and, I suppose, make sure her parents ultimately got together), but I think the important thing to remember is this: That River is all at once shown a life she could have, essentially has had (a pretty awesome life at that), and she's given the choice between fulfilling the one and only goal in her current life, or opening herself up to the incredible possibility of a new life as River Song.

I think there were a couple factors that really influenced River's change of heart. The fact that the TARDIS taught her how to fly her, and that River was able to fly her, was a life-changing moment for her. And then to be privy to the Doctor's dying words, words meant for River Song, affected her greatly. Of course upon realizing that those words were actually meant for her, River realized that she was so much more than just an assassin. She was important to these people; they loved her. The TARDIS knew her and trusted her, the Doctor gave his dying words to her, and the Ponds obviously loved her as their own daughter but also knew her as this amazing woman River Song. I think in that moment she realized there were all of these possibilities ahead of her, this man she was meant to fall in love with, and here he was dying at her feet. How could she let all of that slip away? I'm not surprised she gave up so much to save the Doctor. It wasn't just about him, it was about a path laid out in front of her, and all of these people who loved her and knew her as the women she had yet to become. In her place, wouldn't you have done the same? I would. But I am a giant pile of woobie romantic, so... perhaps some of you wouldn't.

I'm really curious to hear what everyone else thought of this episode. I've only watched it twice so far, but I mean to watch all of the River Song episodes again to get a better feel for her story. There are still some timey-wimey bits that confuse me, but I'm sure I'll sort them out once I re-watch it all.

Oh and also, how adorable is the Doctor in that tux? Sonic cane! Gaahh too much awesome.

Colorado Cabin

2011-08-30T16:20:00.000-07:00

I just returned home from a family reunion in Colorado. It was exhausting, but I'm grateful that I was able to go, and it meant a lot to see my fam, my dad, and meet his fiancee before I take off for London in a few weeks.

The reunion took place at Pinecrest Lodge in Palmer Lake, but I stayed in a small cabin next door to my aunt's house, who lives in Palmer Lake. It was rustic but super cute, so I took some pictures for the sole purpose of putting them in this blog. Because I haven't blogged in fifty years.

These photos were taken with my new camera, a Canon Rebel XS. I absolutely love it, but I've only used the thing a few times so I've no idea what to do with all the gizmos on it. I read the first part of the manual, and my dad gave me a couple tips, but I still have a ways to go when it comes to taking pictures. Derp.

Soooo... I leave for London in three weeks. That's pretty exciting and stuff. What are you all up to? I HAVE NO IDEA! Tell me what blogging is.

Best Year Ever

2011-07-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

A few weekends ago I went to the Mississippi Street Fair. I met up with my bestie Rose, her boyfriend, and a couple of their friends there. It's the kind of thing I love to do: walk and talk with friends, drink everyone's leftover lemonade, and look at cool stuff for sale. As you can see it was ridiculously crowded, also hot and sunny (my faves!), but awesome nonetheless.

Apparently all I do is go to markets and street fairs lately? Yes.

I'm really going to miss Portland. The year+ I've spent here has been, arguably, the best time of my life. It's almost impossible to judge those kinds of things, and I acknowledge that, but I feel like I've at last come into my own over the past year -- at least, begun to come into my own. I've never lived in a new city before, and to do that on my own, just Greg and me, to find a new job and fall in love with a new place and learn the city and make new friends, has been probably the most fulfilling and amazing thing I've done so far in my life.

I can't even believe I'm going to be leaving in under two months. I can't believe it. I feel like I just got here, just started to grow little roots, and now I'm up and leaving again. Damn you wanderlust! Yes, the impending UK adventure will be incredible, but I will miss Portland so much. I've had so much fun here it's impossible to express in words. I've grown as a person, met fantastic new people, shown my parents around my new city and new home (which I'd never done before and it was so fun), and generally blossomed into a whole new Meg. I feel like my life has been so rich and vibrant so far, and I can't wait to see what happens in the next year. I can't fucking wait.

Titan A.E.

2011-07-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

You know what's a vastly underrated movie? Titan A.E. This is probably because nobody has seen it, because the people I know who have seen it really like it (except Greg, who is silly and only just saw it for the first time today).

Anyway, I was in the mood for some kind of dystopian sci fi movie, and since I couldn't get all the way through Blade Runner (it was just as bad the second time, sorry Dad), I decided I'd watch Titan A.E. for the like, fifth time. Admittedly it's not really a dystopian story, at least that's not how I'd describe it, but it involves humans roaming the vastness of space without a home planet, so that's downer enough for me. Plus, voice actors include Bill Pullman and Matt Damon! Watch this shiz.

This movie rules. The soundtrack is just as amazing. I should be in bed right now but I'm writing this instead. Tomorrow I will be all, "what was I thinking."

Pike Place

2011-07-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

So I went to Seattle over the weekend! It was pretty awesome. I went with some girl friends, and we had a triumphant time. We spent most of Saturday at Pike Place Market, and then spent the night dancing and avoiding sweaty creepers. It was brilliant! I'm too tired to write about it right now, so here are some photos. Mostly from Pike Place.

One of my favorite places to go at Pike Place is the comic book store. It is badass! They had a bunch of Doctor Who stuff, which I wanted to buy, but it must've been imported or something because that shiz was expensive. I'll wait 'til I get to London, thanks!

Speaking of London, I called Brunel University today on the way to work. The woman I spoke to was super helpful and sweet, and her accent made me pee myself. No joke. I kept trying to do impressions of her to my friends but I just couldn't do her justice. I hope everybody in England speaks in such dulcet tones... which they will. Because I am OBSESSED with that place. It's bordering on the creepy.

Beer and Alistair

2011-07-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

Rough-arse day at work today, so I promptly settled down to leftover pad thai, Cold Smoke Scotch Ale (om nom Montana beer!), Arrested Development on Netflix streaming, and complete lack of natural light or talking on the phone. Glorious!

Last night I drew a picture of Alistair, my favorite character from Dragon Age: Origins and number one fictional man crush of the moment. He is so fabulous, hilarious, and adorably sensitive; he had to have been written by a woman. Behold:

That's it today, just a tiny update until I feel like vomiting words again. And for those who have mentioned it (like two people), I will continue to update here in regards to my London adventure. Yay! It would be silly not to write about it, I decided, so stay tuned for that in late September. Cheers!

the real world sucks

2011-07-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been completely immersed in the unreal. Well, take "unreal" as you will -- for me, worlds of the fantastical and the long past have always been more interesting and worth spending time in than the "real world," and in that sense feel more real to me than any ordinary earth existence could. So, in normal terms, lately I've been hanging around in some completely fake, made-of-pixels, fantasy worlds that are more fun to me than anything reality could offer. And it is glorious.

Most recently I've begun exploring the world of Mass Effect. This exploration immediately follows a full playthrough of Dragon Age: Origins and three playthroughs of Dragon Age 2, both of which take place in an epic fantasy pseudo-medieval world. So the transition from that to Mass Effect, a futuristic space fantasy (yes, I'd call it fantasy over sci fi, but that's debatable), was an abrupt one. That said, I'm finding myself completely at ease in this new world of high-speed transportation, slow elevators, and spaceships-as-cities. It was an immediate attraction, an almost drunken stagger of lust into this new world's arms, spurred primarily by the music on the game's main menu screen. From that moment, I knew this was going to be a beautiful foray into the truly spacey and fabulous.

Anyway, I digress -- kinda. This isn't a review of a game or anything; it's a review of the feelings that arise when I game. I feel wrong just calling it "gaming," because it's always more than that for me (well, sometimes it is just about gaming, when playing Tetris or Peggle for example, but it's actually impossible for those games to be much more than colorful shapes and balls bouncing around)-- it's an immersion into a story, another world, where the life of another person (or persons) becomes my own. Their history becomes my history, their worries are taken on as my own, and their life goals become as important to me as if they were part of my earth-bound existence.

When I was younger, around my early teen years, it seemed like everything I indulged in -- be it books, movies, games, or tv shows -- spoke to me on a deep emotional level, something that can't be described in words, especially not on this blog such as it is. Most of my favorite books of all time were read while I was a young teenager, books that could never impact me now the way they impacted me then. So when I discover something now that can affect me even a fraction as acutely as books and stories used to when I was younger, it means the world to me. That's one of the reasons I love Doctor Who so much, because it reaches me on a fundamental level that very few things reach in me these days. I really miss that feeling, the feeling that everything I took in meant something and would always mean something, and I feel like I've spent my life looking for the thing that will give that feeling to me, again and again, without diminishing returns. The Lord of the Rings is one of the things that makes me cry every time I read it or watch the movies, because I remember what it was like to feel it so deeply in my bones that it hurt. Nothing ever affects me like that story, and I doubt anything ever will.

What I love about Mass Effect, then, from literally like... the hour I've spent playing (I just started!), is that it appeals to the part of me that feels things like younger Meg used to feel. The music, Citadel, the fantastic space opera-ness of it all... it's magic. It makes me feel wonder again, like I'm about to embark on an epic adventure into the unknown. It excites me. And while that adventure may not be "real," by the definition of the term, it feels more real to me than anything I can touch in the physical world. So for me, it's real enough.

This Post is Ill-Advised

2011-06-19T03:05:00.000-07:00

That photo is a nice summary of my Saturday. Couldn't be arsed, wore jeans. Drank a 20oz double-shot latte, went on tumblr and fangirled all over the place regarding Dragon Age 2, and then ran 'round in circles before picking up Dragon Age: Origins and playing that for about... 9 hours, give or take.

I've had "The Last Thing On Your Mind" by Lights stuck in my head for the past 48 hours or so.

Just submitted a secret to fandom!secrets. It is 2:55am.

I also drank 3 Dr Peppers this evening.

What is my life.

I think I might quit this blog. I won't say anything for sure, like, "I'M LEAVING THE BLOGOSPHERE FOR GOOD" or, "I WANT TO EXPERIENCE REAL LIFE AND NOT THIS INTERNET MONSTER" because nothing could be further from the truth. That would probably be the healthy thing to do, but... nah. Lately I just really don't give a crap, to be quite honest. My blog was something to make me feel like I was accomplishing things in life, and it made me be creative, but now I'm going to school in the fall and I kind of... I kind of just don't care anymore because I don't need it anymore.

We'll see though, because I really love all the people I've met in the blogosphere (lawl blogosphere), and I'll always love clothes and fashion and getting dressed up, but I just don't think this blog is really going anywhere. Maybe my narcissism and vanity will change that, but don't be surprised if the outfit posts stop or peter off into nothing.

This is becoming redundant. It's 3:00 in the morning, give me a break! I guess maybe I should go to bed then. Have a Fenris.

Guest Post at the Daily Fashionista

2011-06-13T17:36:00.000-07:00

Wut up. I did a guest blog for Emily over at The Daily Fashionista! It's an outfit/post inspired by Patrick Wolf, the ever amazing, so please go check it out. 'Twould mean a lot. ♥

Meanwhile, enjoy this fucking song. (I can't believe I'm going to see this man live this fall in London, I will be crying and peeing everywhere. I will fucking DIE.)

Chillaxin'

2011-06-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, this picture is posed. Well the face anyway. And my game is paused so I don't die while Greg takes my picture. But the general gist you get is: this is what I do all evening after work. If I'm not playing video games I've got my Macbook on my lap (even when I'm not using it it's sitting open next to me, as you can see, in case something exciting happens on twitter).

I told you I was gonna post more day-to-day things here! HA WELL NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO.

Anyway this post is pointless and I have nothing else of worth to say, so here ya go. Meg playin' vidya games.

Oh and this tumblr cracks me up as well as horrifies me. Read at your own risk if crazed parents frighten you.

Oh and, if you want Sherlock fic recs and haven't read this one yet, Two Two One Bravo Baker is incredible so far.

The Video Game Gods

2011-06-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

BRIGHT NAILS BRIGHT FINGERNAILS GRAAHH.

I am debating very heatedly with myself over whether or not I need this iPhone case in my life. I mean... can you think of any reason why I would not need one? I'd be worried the li'l thingy at the top would break off, and $40... so spendy! Still, pretty much the coolest iPhone case I've yet seen.

I'm wearing: H&M top and necklace, F21 skirt and jacket (the latter via eBay), Claire's earrings.

So what do we think of the new Dante? Disclaimer! I haven't actually played any of the Devil May Cry games, but I watched Greg play one of them once for like... a while. So clearly my opinion counts here, but honestly you guys. Dante is amazing, he's ridiculous and hammy and a total tool-bag but he is badass and hot and he's supposed to look like this hot piece, not some emo creeper with a lookbook.nu haircut! Seriously, video game gods. Why do you punish us?

To make myself (and you?) feel better, let's take a look at some reasons why the video game gods love us. (Also I just like Dragon Age 2 eye candy, sue me.)

A lot of these mofos sure have glowy eyes. Silly glowy eyes!

Yeah this blog post has become a pile of nothingness, interspersed with random photos. OH WELL what else is my blog, if not that?

Hey so everyone who lives in the UK and reads my blog and wants to meet up this fall when I move there: you should email me! I want to get to know you guys. I know Rachel already emailed me, and I owe her a reply (and have owed one for weeks now), but I want to meet you awesome doodz on that tiny island over there. If you want to, go ahead and poke me at white.duck@gmail.com! I'd love to ask you dumb questions about the UK.

And I think I'm done now.

Girl in a Fantasy

2011-06-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

So today I realized every single one of my accessories is turquoise, including the shoes. I didn't actually plan this, although it must have happened subconsciously, because these things don't just fall into place so magically on their own.

I watched "A Good Man Goes To War" again today, the latest episode of Doctor Who, and it is just as good the second time. Nearly cried, again. Had to hold it in though as I was at work. The things I do for ~~love~~ the Doctor. As I told Greg, I'm glad I already had a TARDIS tattoo after watching that episode, because if I didn't I'd be gouging the Doctor's face into my flesh out of pure obsessive love for that man. I kind of want another Who tattoo, but I know it's just a momentary lapse in judgment and will hold off on that.

I'm wearing: H&M dress, F21 necklace, Target shoes, earrings from crystalbrilliance.

This whole going-to-school-in-the-UK-this-fall hasn't quite hit me yet. Every time I think about it, it just doesn't seem real. It's almost like I don't want to get excited until I'm there, because I don't want to wake up from this fantasy. I'm a total dork but I don't know, it doesn't seem real to me! The only time it does is when I think about being apart from Greg for a year and then I just cry. Good times.

In preparation for my times abroad, I've procured Heinz Baked Beans from the British section in Fred Meyer. I've yet to eat them on toast, but soon. Soon. I'll let you weirdos know how it is. I know you want beans on toast too, you crazy fellow Americans you. ♥

And finally, you must all go visit my friend Crystal's etsy shop! It's only in its infancy, but the earrings I'm wearing today (seen in the following craptastic picture) are made by her, and I love them! They're so pretty and dainty and light so they don't make my ears hurt. Go buy her stuff, I vouch for it!

X-Men: First Class

2011-06-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

(art by Noelle Stevenson)

Just saw X-Men: First Class with Greg. All I can say is, without spewing spoilers everywhere, is THAT WAS AMAZING. Amaaaazing. Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy are incredible as Erik and Charles aka Magneto and Professor X, and Kevin Bacon is so gross, and Beast is adorbs, and Mystique is adorbs, and all the baby mutants are adorbs, and and and. And the slashiness, it is pure unadulterated glorious perfection. Please watch. Please watch for the slash. I am so upset that there isn't already a treasure trove of a billion fanfics for me to read of Erik/Charles. Alas.

Disclaimer: I have never read any of the X-Men comics nor do I really read comics at all but I absolutely love the X-Men movies so there you go! Fun for everyone! Go see.

This is Not an Outfit Post

2011-06-02T17:27:00.000-07:00

FIRSTLY CAN I JUST SAY. And it's been a long time coming. ...I love Lady Gaga's new album. Could listen to "Judas" forever and ever, come on you know you feel the same. Let's have an internet dance party.

...Now that that's out of the way, I'll get down to biz-nass. So hi! How are you guys? I've been pretty much completely absent from my blog for the past month, as well as most blogs in general. And it was good! It was a chance for me to totally immerse myself in my roots, aka a bunch of super nerdy stuff that I might otherwise have pushed to the wayside in order to make time for blogging. I feel like I've revived myself, and my soul is ready to blog again.

I also feel like I can be more true to myself now, and continue in a vein that I had meant to follow when I first started the blog. I kind of want to incorporate more day-to-day life photos, as well as thoughts and reviews of my geeky interests along with a bunch of outfit posts (which will still, admittedly, mostly likely be the main focus of this blog). What do you guys think? Yay, nay? Regardless I'ma do whatever I like, but it's nice to get feedback. ♥

So what have I been doing this past month, you ask? Well. Not only have I been adventuring with my posse in Dragon Age 2 (which is amazing by the way and no I haven't played the first one, but now I need to), but I've been watching and reading Game of Thrones, freaking out over Doctor Who, reading a bunch of Sherlock fanfic, attending Portland Geek Trivia, seeing Thor, only wearing my hair in pigtails, getting my financial aid sorted for grad school, and generally living/loving life. What about you?!

P.S. If you're not watching A Game of Thrones on HBO, what is wrong with you. No seriously what is wrong with you. It is amazing, and so far extremely loyal to the book. I'm in love with every character. Here is a Jaime Lannister for no reason.

...Regular posts to commence shortly.

Update of Sorts

2011-05-21T16:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the sort of unofficial hiatus! I'll be back in full swing in no time, worry not, but until then if you want to follow me in some manner of blogging capacity, my tumblr is a good place to start. It's a nice peek into my psyche, at any rate.

I'm also, as always, extremely active on my twitter. I know it's locked but if you're not spam I'll always accept your request.

Cheers! ♥

Neon Floral

2011-05-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

A very belated blog post this evening! Greg and I got caught up watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones and an episode of Community, which we're nearly caught up on (ridiculously). All we did over the weekend was sleep in, watch Community, eat junk food, stay up 'til 8:00 in the morning, and then watch more Community. It was glorious, perfect, and just what I needed out of life.

This dress is a new one from Saturday, the day in which I spent lots and lots of money. They had this dress in a few colors and prints at H&M, but my favorite was this neon floral print on black. I love floral prints most when they're not too utterly girly, and I love the shape of this dress so much! Look forward to seeing it a lot in future.

I'm wearing: H&M dress, belt, and cardi; necklace from Mom.

Not feeling the whole blog thing lately and I'm not sure why. Right now it feels like something I'm just churning out automatically because I should, not because it's something I really really want to do. I mean yeah I'm still enjoying it, otherwise I would just take a break altogether (and I'm wont to do so intermittently), but I'm just distracted by what seems like a million other things. Worrying about grad school, the million shows I'm watching, spending time with Greg, socializing, and whatever other dumb and pointless things I do when I get home from work. I know, it's not like I'm busy doing real things (unlike two weeks ago), but for whatever reason I feel like blogging isn't something I want to put forth a lot of time and effort to do.

No worries, though, I feel like this every once in a while and I'm sure it will pass! It had better, because I have a billion new things to dress up in, huzzah! I am excite.

Ignorant American

2011-05-06T15:54:00.000-07:00

There's something I've been stewing over for the past several weeks, and I suppose I'd better just get it out there to hear what the rest of you think. People keep telling me to, essentially, "watch out" when I go to the UK because people over there will be expecting me to be an ignorant American. I've been advised from multiple friends that I should read up on our government, the UK government, the UK history, and various other histories and current events. Which, sure, I'm actually very interested in history and I'd like to be more in touch with what's happening in the world; but seriously, are people in the UK going to be just waiting for me to make some mistake and then jump on me for being an idiot American? Seriously?

I feel like this is a crazy myth we like to spread around in the States because it makes us feel like some kind of stupid-tumor on the Earth, and we really like hating on ourselves over here (or at least the liberals I know who were threatening to move to Canada when Bush was elected for a second term). It's silly, I think, because there are ignorant fatheads in every country, no matter where you go. Perhaps there's a higher density of them in the States, but we can't help it that we have a Bible Belt, guys (kidding! kidding... kinda).

Anyway I'm just curious if you awesome UK readers have ever come across Americans and quizzed them on like... current events and American history in order to gauge their intelligence. Somehow I doubt it (because who would actually do that outside of an epic douchebag?), and I think my friends are fearmongering, but you never know! I've only been a tourist in Germany and Italy, and they didn't speak English so if they were dissing me I couldn't have known.

I'm wearing: Target skirt and tights, F21 belt, H&M t-shirt and necklace.

Ugh what am I doing with my tummy in that photo, I don't know why I picked this picture last night. And now I feel obligated to post it because otherwise I'd only have three photos in this post. Ugh, blogworld problems!

This was yesterday's I'm-super-greasy-and-tired-and-can't-be-arsed outfit. Notice the pushed-aside bangs... they're staying there by the power of their own greasiness.

This weekend I have absolutely no plans whatsoever, and it makes me infinitely happy. I'm tired of going places and doing things all the time! Although I'm hoping I'll at least be able to fit in a shopping trip somewhere amidst all the vegetating. Somebody needs a spring jacket.

Guest Post at Holland 1945

2011-05-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

I know you've seen this outfit before in my tattoo post, but if you want to see more (and read about when/how I started blogging among other ramblings), head over to Holland 1945 where I've done a guest blog post for today! Yay!

Star Wars Day

2011-05-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Hump Day, kidlets! And, don't forget, it's also Star Wars Day! May the fourth be with you, etc. It took me a while to get that one, but once I got it, it was amazing.

I'm not incredibly impressed with my outfit today; too much black. But at the same time I love my hair and jewelry, so we'll say it balances out. I basically haven't taken off these shoes since I got them, either! So cute and comfy, and they go with pretty much everything ever. My quest for the perfect pair of black flats is over, even before I knew it had begun. How about that!

I'm wearing: UO dress, H&M cardi, Blowfish shoes, F21 earrings, necklace from street stall in Florence.

Don't know what's going on with my eyes in that photo, but it made me lol, so I posted it here.

Notice how I specifically said my necklace was from a street stall in Florence. This is in order to inconspicuously brag about the fact that I was in Italy at one point in my life, and was even cool enough to buy something from a street stall. I mean isn't that why we all put that shiz under our outfit photos? TO SHOW HOW COOL WE ARE. Well I went to flipping Florence!

But enough of that. In about fifteen minutes I will be placing an order for my one-way ticket to London. How about them apples? Braggity brag brag. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY OVERSEAS ADVENTURES.

Okay I'll shut up now, I love you guys so much! Thank you a billion for all the positive feedback about my tattoo, I'm so so glad you all approve! I'd hate to have gotten a shitty tattoo that you'd all have to suffer through every time you came to my blog. ♥

Hello Tattoo

2011-05-02T15:51:00.000-07:00

Everybody, say hello to my brand new tattoo! A lot of you probably saw it on twitter already, but I wanted to make a little post about it so those of you not "in the know" can understand why I put a blue police box on myself for all of eternity. I figured I'd do a little FAQ here since I've been getting a billion questions about it!

Q: What the hell is that thing on your arm.
A: It's the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimension In Space)! The TARDIS is a time machine/space ship from the BBC show Doctor Who, in which the Doctor travels with his companions doing cool stuff. It looks like a police box but it's bigger on the inside! Beneath the TARDIS is a bow tie, and the word "geronimo." These are there because my Doctor is the Eleventh Doctor (played by Matt Smith), and he wears a bow tie, and his dorky as all hell catchphrase is "geronimo!" Essentially this is the nerdiest tattoo known to mankind. (Unless you count my friend Rachael, who got a TARDIS that says "allons-y!")

Q: Why would you do that to yourself!
A: I heart Doctor Who. A lot.

Q: Did it hurt omg how much did it hurt.
A: Yes it hurt like a motherfucker. Nobody warned me that it would hurt so much, but I'm glad they didn't! Otherwise I'm not sure I'd have done it. Well I would... but I think I would have pooped my pants beforehand. It seriously hurt a lot! Like someone dragging a needle across my skin. Oh wait that's basically what was happening.

Q: How big is it!
A: As you can see in the photos, it's about 4 inches tall! Bigger than I had originally planned, but I like it exactly how it is now.

Q: Are you happy with it?
A: Yes, yes I am completely happy with it! It would kinda suck if I wasn't, haha, but I totally am. I think the style suits me perfectly, and now I am branded with the love of my favorite show and my favorite Doctor, which I think is pretty kickass. So yes, I LOVE IT! ♥

If you have any other questions feel free to leave them in the comments. And yes I am going to post bigger, clearer pictures of it soon, once it stops being swollen and peely. Gross.

Something Blue

2011-04-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Royal Wedding Day! Oh man you guys. I don't think you understand how upset I am that I'm not English today. Although, in the words of a friend (also an Anglophile): "But we are English," at heart anyway. That's what's consoling me in my sorrow over the fact that I didn't get up early enough to watch the Royal Wedding, plus the fact that I can't properly celebrate as I'm not in England right now. Celebrating in America is just lame and sad. Ugh!

At any rate I spent my entire morning looking at pictures from the ceremony and making happy sounds. As is my life.

I'm wearing: H&M skirt and belt, F21 top, Target flats, cardi from my Aunt a million years ago.

Kind of a blah outfit here, but I enjoyed it! I'm loving this skirt; I wish I'd gotten it in every color. I suppose I can always go back and get more, but I prefer to just wallow in regret rather than solve my problems.

Super excited about tomorrow! I'm getting my tattoo in the early afternoon (my first ever!), and then Doctor Who is on later that night! I can't handle my excitement. I must run around in circles, flailing and making high-pitched sounds in order to channel my crazed enthusiasm!

Oddly I've been listening to the Doctor Zhivago (by Ludovico Einaudi ♥) and Braid (a game of which I've only played the demo) soundtracks all day, which are two of the most melancholy soundtracks ever created, but nevertheless I've managed to remain ridiculously giddy all day. Thank you, Doctor Who!

We've Got Obsessions

2011-04-27T14:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I busted out this dress for the first time since last fall. I forgot how much I like it! I thought I really disliked the sort of tribal print, but I find I actually quite like it. Not usually a fan of the tribal thing, though. It also has adorable puffed sleeves which you can't see in these photos (obvs), but which I love because they make my arms look less like grandma arms. I dunno.

Also rediscovering the inherent possibilities that go along with scarves! I only have one scarf, alas, but I want to buy more. I probably won't, however, because my funds ought to be going toward summer clothes and not cold weather things (even though summer doesn't really start in Portland until late July).

I'm wearing: F21 dress, belt, & earrings; UO cardi; and thrifted scarf.

I started watching The Borgias last night. I'm already hooked! I love period television shows because the possibilities for amazing costumes are endless, and the stories are always so expansive and dramatic. I adored Rome and I'm continually on the search for something similar. Incidentally The Borgias takes place in Rome, but during the Renaissance. I'd never really read up on the Borgia family before, but I did listen to a podcast on Lucrezia Borgia once, so I'm intrigued to watch the show and then do my own research to see how historically accurate it turns out to be. Not that I care; I'm not that big a stickler when it comes to historical accuracy unless it's in regard to costumes, but I'm super interested in history so it's more curiosity than anything. Accuracy to books is quite another matter, however...

Which brings me, of course, to A Game of Thrones! What an amazing adaptation. I'm reading the book as I watch the show, and I can't say enough what a great job they've done so far in translating the book to film. The dialogue is word for word most of the time, and while some of the casting choices are a bit questionable (though nothing as bad as Mel Gibson as Hamlet), I'm thoroughly impressed by the whole thing. Not to mention the story and characters are great so far! If you haven't already, watch this show.

Oh and Doctor Who, you guys... don't even get me started. I will give a full review after part two airs on Saturday, but seriously... I can't even handle how much I love this show.

So what dorky (or non-dorky) things are you guys obsessed with at the moment?

Featured Blogger: Waking Life

2011-04-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

I haven't really made "featuring" other bloggers on my blog a regular thing, because I love way too many fellow bloggers and I just don't know how I'd find time to feature each and every one of them. However, I couldn't not talk about Caitlin of Waking Life on my blog. Not only is she an incredibly stylish girl (every single one of her outfits gives me a giant dose of inspiration), but she's super sweet and a writer! Reading her blog and her thoughts on writing, life, and everything else is an endless source of motivation and inspiration for me. But that's enough gushing from me, here are some questions she answered for me so we can all get to know her better. (Also she sounds like a genius of a writer, just sayin'.)

1. Tell us a bit about yourself in regards to blogging. When/why did you start, what do you enjoy about blogging, and what do you want to accomplish with your blog?

When I moved back to Vermont (from Portland!) and got my first corporate office job (blech), I actually finally had some money to spend on clothes and plenty of time to kill on the internet. Around that time I discovered etsy and started buying vintage. One morning at the coffee machine a co-worker told me that she thought my style was reminiscent of Jessica's (of What I Wore--back then she wore a lot more vintage) and that I should check out the blog. I did, I was hooked, I started blog-stalking, and eventually decided I wanted to join in! I love blogging mostly because I enjoy being a part of the conversation, and getting to know all kinds of fabulous girls around the world. There are so many amazing, inspirational people out there (style-wise and other-wise) and it really is such an expansive experience to be a part of it all. I don't really have any major goals for my blog, I just do it because I think it's fun, it gives me a reason to put an effort into the way I dress and actually have people appreciate it (instead of just giving me funny looks), and gives me something to add to my routine which I actually enjoy! I know my blog has limitations (I take all my photos on a little CoolPix camera, for example, but can't even begin to afford a nicer model right now) so I don't get too worked up about not having a crazy number of followers or not having sponsors chasing after me. I just enjoy doing it!

2. What are some things in your everyday life that inspire you?

Well, for starters, I live in such a wonderful place. I grew up here and will always come back (even if my wanderlust has been in hyperdrive for a while now--okay, basically it never stops). The people are just so genuinely kind and interesting and artistic, and while it's not exactly a fashion mecca, people definitely do have a sincere sense of personal style and individuality, which I think is really refreshing. It's also unbelievably beautiful and one of the most unaffected places I've been in the US. I read constantly, watch tons of movies (I was a film major in college), and just generally try to absorb as much of the world as possible. Everything is an inspiration, even life itself!

3. I know you're a writer, but you're secretive about your work (i.e. you don't share it!). Can you at least tell us in what genre you prefer to write, and maaaybe a little about your novel?

I wouldn't really call myself a "genre" writer. My influences are definitely quasi-feminist authors like Simone de Beauvoir (her fiction is phenomenal) and Doris Lessing and Erica Jong, the romance of DH Lawrence, or metaphorically poetic writers like Tom Robbins and Kurt Vonnegut. I guess I would say that my writing is very much about the everyday struggles of the human spirit (primarily the female human), with philosophical/political/spiritual undertones. But subtle. I always hesitate to tell people what the novel I'm currently working on is "about" because it's not really "about" anything in particular. It's kind of about everything. I will say the basic plot is that a recently married young woman moves to the country with her new husband and finds herself possessed with the desire to have a child. But, to put it eloquently, the shit hits the fan. See? Doesn't sound too exciting. But there is (hopefully) poetry in the introspective nature of the prose, which is what I ultimately aspire to achieve (because that's what affects me the most).

4. What's your favorite spring/summer fashion trend that you haven't tried out yet and can't wait to attempt?

I actually really love frilly bra tops with high-high-waisted shorts, but I am so unlikely to pull that off in real life. I also love the sandals with wooden platform heels, so I'm definitely going to have to get a pair. Other than that I'm not sure that there are any trends I'm loving that I haven't already tried! We'll see what shows up on the blogs in the coming months!

5. Describe the perfect weekend away.

It would be spontaneous, because if you overplan something always, inevitably goes wrong. My boyfriend and I would take a road trip somewhere we had never been--we're thinking about going up to St John this summer, so we'll say somewhere like that--stopping along the way whenever something caught our eye (this usually means antique stores, cute little towns for exploring, walking on beautiful beaches). We would have a delicious meal (with wine, of course) by the ocean and watch the sunset like the cheesy romantics we are, then retire to our room in a cute little B&B and lounge in our in-room hot tub. We would get up early in the morning and order room service (again, never done that, but want to) before exploring all day. That night we would randomly happen upon a divey blues club where we would sip fancy cocktails (because I have never found such a place and I'm dying to and this is my fantasy trip), and go skinnydipping in the sea. And the next day we would drive home, taking a different route and doing the whole thing in reverse! (A perfect week away would be entirely different because it would involve flying to a foreign land, but that can't be done in a weekend!)

6. What's your favorite thing to do in the city where you live?

HAHA. I laugh at that because I do not live in a city, and even the closest city would be considered a town in most states. I'll call Burlington my city because it's 15 minutes away. I officially love riding on the waterfront bike path with my trusty vintage Schwinn road bike (beautiful), going out to dinner (esp when I can sit outside on Church Street) with my boyfriend or my girlfriends (or my parents!), spending hours in used book stores, strolling while eating twist creemees, and dancing in the street!

Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday Comes Afterwards

2011-04-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

Well it's payday and Friday, which means I am a happy Meg! A trip to H&M is decidedly in order, as I'm going through shopping withdrawal. Yes, shopping withdrawal. I haven't been shopping in a month! It hurts! And I'm super tired of all my clothes at the moment; mini skirts aren't doing it for me anymore. I want all midi and maxi, AD;ALKSDFJ! And a chocolate milkshake.

I'm deciding whether or not I want these Nexi flats by Blowfish. I write for Blowfish, so I may be biased, but I've never worn a pair of their shoes that wasn't super comfy and awesome. Still, not sure with these! I hate spending more than $30 on anything. Somebody talk me into it.

I'm wearing: H&M skirt, blouse from Dad, Gap bow tie thingy.

I don't like this outfit; it lacks color. I was super into neutrals for a while but now I want color. Frustrating.

Gotta get my ass in gear when it comes to writing. I have a story knocking about in my head and it's driving me crazy, because I feel like I haven't had time to write at all! My after-work hours yesterday and the day before were all spent recording and practicing with Ninja Turtle Ninja Tiger, and I've been so exhausted all week for no particular reason. I need to just force myself to sit down and write for little spurts. I hate doing that, though; I like to dedicate at least two hours of time to writing, because I get in the zone and hate stopping when I'm in the middle of a scene, but I may have to just suck it up and write in little chunks. Annoying.*

I started reading A Game of Thrones finally. I just couldn't wait for the next episode! Although at my current glacial pace it's doubtful that I'll get to where episode 1 ended before Sunday. I'm loving the book, though; another thick fantasy novel, just what I need! ♥

*Sherlock: Shut up.
Lestrade: I didn't say anything!
Sherlock: You were thinking; it's annoying.

High-Density Stress

2011-04-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

Lately I can't shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something, or that I'm putting something off, but I can't for the life of me remember what it is. I've been picking at my fingers and waking up in the night, can't digest my food properly (maybe TMI but I don't care), and am generally a denser ball of anxiety than usual, which is truly disturbing. I'm like a white dwarf of tension. One teaspoon of my anxiety weighs the same as Mount Everest.

Also I've been experimenting with not actually shampooing my hair for over a week now, and I'm waiting for my hair to go back to its normal state. It was super greasy a few days ago but now it's getting better! I think? I dunno. I just felt like my hair was really dry and every time I washed it it was gross and crunchy so I'm trying to hydrate my poor follicles or whatever.

I'm wearing: F21 dress and belt, Target beret, shoes c/o Blowfish.

I rediscovered this badass pom-pom beret while going through the mountain of old/forgotten clothes in my closet a few weeks ago. Sadsauce that I found it in spring, it's rather a winter hat, but I wore it yesterday anyway! Rebellion! ...Not really at all but yeah.

I've decided to take outfit pictures every day if I can, but only post on the blog every other day. That way I'll hopefully not get behind so much on my posts, and I won't overload you all with constant posting. I think this is a glorious idea and I am a genius.

Holy crap I wore more than one color yesterday WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Once a Cellist

2011-04-18T18:15:00.000-07:00

My fingers hurt. This is because I just busted out the ol' cello (fondly named Dorian Gray), and after 4 or so years of dormancy, my poor cello fingers are extremely frail and pathetic. After about 15 minutes of playing, my bow hand is all cramped due to holding the bow all wrong (to be fair I've never held my bow quite right), and my left hand is absolutely stinging from plonking around on those strings. Ow. My most of me.

The reason I'm forcing myself to play the cello again (not that I don't enjoy it, but look at me, I can barely type), is that a friend has asked me to record a cello part for his band this week. His cellist had to bail at the last second, and as I'm the only other cellist he knows, I get to take her place! I'm kind of excited about it, but also super nervous and frustrated because I used to be a middling to decent cellist, and now I'm like a high school freshman all over again. It's rather depressing, considering that of all the instruments I ever played, cello was by far the one I loved the most (and the one I was best at).

I'm wearing: F21 dress and hat, H&M cardi and necklace.

Maybe one of these days I'll take some photos of Dorian to show off all over the internets, and maybe even Isidore, who is admittedly much nicer to me after years of disuse (there are no difficult fingerings to remember!). Isidore is my harp. I was never very good at playing the harp, but it's a lot easier to just sort of pick up and dink around on and create a pleasing sound, whereas with a cello you have to know what you're doing to make it sound at all nice.

Liar and a Cheat

2011-04-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Blogger Fail, population: me. Okay okay, I don't fail, but it has been decidedly Too Long since I last updated here. I miss it! To be quite honest my outfits have been very lacking in the past week. As in, super super lacking. I can't even remember what I've been wearing because it's so dreadfully nondescript. Alas.

Remember that whole "I WANNA DRESS LIKE A WRITER DERP" post? Well that went out the window pretty fast. I've nothing in my closet that makes me want to get dressed, and nothing that inspires me, so I've just been wearing whatever. Which is awful because I never feel as confident when I'm wearing just whatever.

This is an outfit that I actually spruced up a bit when I came home because I'm a liar and a cheat. I was not wearing the socks or shoes or hat at work (so basically all of it). Also I could wear this hat every day.

I'm wearing: F21 dress/tunic, H&M hat and necklace, UO bag, shoes c/o Blowfish.

I got a new bag! I'm very excited about it. I tend to bring a lot of stuff with me to work every day (i.e. my Macbook, books, DVDs, lunch, granola bars, my gloves, my giant wallet, Macbook charger, etc), and I was getting super annoyed with/bored of my old bag (a red backpack/bag from UO as well which I got years ago), so I got this one on sale. I LOVE IT. I love the vintage collegiate/doctor-y look of it. And obviously, I love everything having to do with doctors... or Doctors. (Doctor Watson and The Doctor, guys.)

Speaking of the Doctor, I've made an appointment with a work friend for us to get tattoos on April 30th! We're both getting TARDIS tattoos, how wretchedly geeky are we? The best part is that she had never seen Doctor Who until she met me, and once I learned she was super into British television, I made her watch and now she is as big a fangirl as me! A truly amazing accomplishment on my part, I must say. I've influenced somebody enough to get a freaking TARDIS tattoo. My work here on Earth is done.

O HAI

2011-04-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

I have ab-so-lutely nothing of use to say today! Therefore, have a glimpse into what I do to entertain myself at work. I write short-short stories to my friend Rachael via instant message. Damn you, 640MB of RAM! *shakes fist at heavens*

from the primeval forests they sprang, shaking off the dirt of a million years, and they lay dormant, waiting until we should call for them. waiting... yet when we at last sent out a call for the dells, they trekked over mountains and through plains, and as they finally came to lie at our feet, proffering their CPUs and their CD-Rs and their color monitors, we proclaimed, "seriously? 640 MB of RAM? fuck that," and fell upon them with hammers.

I don't remember when I took these photos but I figured I ought to use them at some point. Derp.

Also I read this amazing book, My Dearest Holmes, by Rohase Piercy. If for some reason you're as obsessed as I am with straight/ambiguous dudes being ~super gay~ for each other, then you ought to read this. It's actually quite well-written, and while John Watson is written as a bit of a basket-case (what grown military man is going to start weeping at the least provocation?), it's pretty much a really, really great fanfic in published book form. Read it.

Writing High

2011-04-06T17:54:00.000-07:00

I am in a GOOD MOOD today! There are just so many reasons why my life rules in general, especially today. Not only did I finish The Walking Dead volume 6, but I drank coffee at work and it didn't make me sick, I watched The Mighty Boosh and Sherlock while taking calls, and I found this photo of Patrick Wolf looking like an utter and complete BAMF.

And then there's the rough draft of a short story I wrote last night! Clearly, and I can't stress this to myself enough: writing fiction gives me an extreme high. Especially when it's characters I love. It's like revisiting old friends and finding that you get along with them just as swimmingly as the last time you saw them, which is an incredible feeling. I missed these characters and I plan to force myself to write about them regularly from now on!

I'm wearing: Express skirt, Gap blouse, H&M hat and necklace.

I've decided I need to dress more like a writer from now on. How pretentious does that sound? But I don't care, I want tweed and grandpa sweaters and seasonally inappropriate scarves and elbow patches and bow ties and... and. What do writers wear, anyway, aside from my own personal conviction that as a writer I ought to dress like a hybrid of the Eleventh Doctor and Johnny Depp in Secret Window?

Take today's outfit, for example. Far too pulled-together to be writerly, I'd say. In this outfit I'd much rather be in the dingy bars of Portland's late 19th century, sipping gin and narrowly avoiding being Shanghai'd into slavery on some ship bound for the Orient. Although a struggle in the dark tunnels of the Portland Underground would be a stimulating adventure, all told.

Decaf Blogging

2011-04-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

Behold my deadened, seemingly sightless eyes. I'm staring into the void because I didn't have a Dr Pepper immediately upon my return home from work. Instead I spent an hour and a half sitting on the bed, talking with Greg. One of the topics covered was, am I allowed to snog Benedict Cumberbatch if he chats me up in London (because this would totally happen). The answer is no, I am not. This is thoroughly disappointing, but at least I'm allowed to take pictures if I come across David Tennant snogging Matt Smith? Fair deal, Greg... fair deal.

I'm wearing: F21 skirt and belt, H&M blouse, thrifted scarf, Old Navy cardigan.

Mmmm yeah look at my wrinkly skirt. You like those wrinkles? Yeah I bet you do. You like those wrinkles in my skirt. Aw yeah. Uh-huh.

...I don't know. I'm dead inside from lack of caffeine. Oh but I finished A Matter of Magic finally! It was adorable and fun and awesome, naturally, since Patricia C. Wrede is pretty much one of the best YA authors ever. I'm now trying to decide whether I should read A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin next, or The House on Durrow Street, which is the sequel to a book I read a last fall (The Magicians and Mrs Quent by Galen Beckett). I want to start A Game of Thrones, since I've heard so much about it, but I'm looking forward to the upcoming show on HBO and I'm worried that if I read the book first I'll nitpick the show and won't enjoy it as much. So, for sanity's sake, I may just read it once I'm done watching the show.

Bah! So many books. And I want to make a Powell's trip soon, too. I've been really enjoying The Walking Dead, and I'd love to read more graphic novels and comics while at work. Any recommendations? I've already read Scott Pilgrim, but that's about it in the way of comics. I'm such a geek failure.

Life in Instagram

2011-04-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

I've been addicted to instagram lately. For those who haven't been seeing it all over the place, it's an iPhone app for photo sharing. You can share your instagram photos on twitter, facebook, flickr, and other social networking whatnots. Anyway, I'm vain and self-obsessed at the best of times, and a complete narcissist at the worst, so instagram is pretty much my dream come true. I can take pictures of myself and what I'm doing whenever I want, and then edit them with various exciting filters, and then upload them to twitter where my followers are forced to see whatever random crap I deem interesting at the time. Okay they're not forced, but I always love seeing what other people post on instagram, so I naturally assume everyone loves looking at mine. (See, totally self-obsessed.)

Anyway I don't have an outfit to post today so I figured that not all of you follow my twitter, and I may as well share a little look into my life apart from my outfits, via my instagram photos.

At the Portland World Trade Center, about to see a screening of Danny Boyle's Frankenstein with Ashleigh! (FYI Benedict Cumberbatch's six-pack is hella distracting.)

My desk at work. How many fandoms are represented in the art on my cubicle wall? (You can't tell, but the blurry one above the star is Matt Smith and Karen Gillan.)

Pirates at Lloyd Center Mall. The gun I'm holding is a real flintlock pistol, which the pirate on the left demonstrated to us after the photo was taken.

I take so many pics of myself at work it's just ridiculous.

Amazing "Aqua Life" Swedish Fish that my dad sent from an aquarium he went to. So cool! I ate them all in a drunken munchies frenzy on Friday night. Mmmm.

If you have instagram, comment with your username and I'll follow you! My name is Megsaucy. I need more friends, I have like 5 friends on there.

Anyway, I'll be back shortly with more outfit posts! Until then, uh... watch Sherlock. I can't tell you all enough.

Another Bow Blouse

2011-03-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

Only one pose was working for me today, apparently, and after editing all of my photos I realized they were all basically the same. Sigh. So here's like three of them.

I feel super bloated, exhausted, and crampy today so it's another short one. Appy-polly-loggies.

I'm wearing: F21 blouse and cardi, H&M skirt and necklace.

Greg and I were going to go out for dinner, but now I don't know if I can move myself from the couch. It was a long day at work, and I've no idea why, but I did nearly finish The Wise Man's Fear. Only about 30 pages left! I'm so sad that it's going to end. When I was younger, whenever I finished a book I particularly loved, I'd usually be in bed reading so I'd clutch the book to my chest and fall asleep that way. I didn't want the story to end, so I'd hold it close in the hope that maybe the characters would end up in my dreams. I know, I'm a nerd, but it comforted me at the end of a story that I didn't want to finish.

I am the Doctor

2011-03-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

You're not the first lot to have come here. Oh, there have been so many. And what you have to ask yourself is... what happened to them? Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically... run.

- The Doctor ("The Eleventh Hour")

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.

- The Doctor ("Vincent and the Doctor")

I'm wearing: F21 skirt, Gap blouse and "bow tie", H&M cardi, Target tights, Aldo shoes.

So today I ever so intentionally dressed like the Eleventh Doctor. Or as close as I could get, anyway. I bought this skirt with built-in suspenders last week, and then I saw a picture of an amazing cosplay of Eleven the other day, and a lightbulb went off. Sadly I was unable to figure out how to tie my real bow tie (again), so I made do with this silly silk tie thingy that I bought at Gap a century ago. I think it makes the whole thing more feminine and less costume-y, although I feel pretty costume-y anyway. Which is a good thing.

Let me tell you a little bit about how amazing the Doctor is. He is absolutely completely amazing. Imagine the oldest, wisest, kindest and most empathetic person ever. Now imagine the silliest, most ridiculous, all-over-the-place, excitable, curious, and ingenious person ever. Take that, plus 900-some years of being a Time Lord and a blue box called the TARDIS, and you have the Doctor. Sort of. He's more than that, of course -- he's the Doctor.

I feel silly trying to put it into words, but Doctor Who has been one of the greatest sources of joy in my life since I first started watching the new series back in 2007. That sounds sad, and maybe it is, but the Doctor helped get me through a very hard breakup, and has been a comfort to me many times since. There are very few shows, movies, or books now that can evoke such emotion in me as this show. Doctor Who reminds me that there is still magic in the world, there is still magic in me, and that I should hold onto that magic because it's starting to disappear more and more as I grow up.

Perhaps it's juvenile to connect myself so emotionally to a family television show about a time-traveling alien, but it truly does mean something to me. It means more to me than I could ever say in a blog post.

And yes, my first tattoo is going to be a TARDIS. U jelly? And for anybody who has no idea what on earth I'm going on about:

And of course, this part:

Yes, yes they are, Doctor. Yes they are.

Monday Quickie

2011-03-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post tonight. My camera's battery died after only a few outfit shots, and then dinner was ready and I had to take off Amanda's dress to eat so I didn't accidentally get spaghetti sauce all over it, and then I just didn't have the ambition to get it back on again. So I stayed in my PJs. And you're all stuck with extremely mediocre photos. Ha! My tummy is very round and full, though, with delicious Greg-made dinner, so it's worth it. I love my househusband!

So somebody told me that Matthew Gray Gubler's character on Criminal Minds reminded them of me, so I made Greg watch the first 10 episodes with me. Okay I didn't make him, but he watched it with me and it's not the most outstanding show in the world. It's like every other crime drama out there. I don't get it. Does it get better? Help me, internet. Should we keep watching?

I'm wearing: Amanda's dress, H&M cardi and necklace, other necklace from Mom.

Announcements and Reminders

2011-03-27T14:08:00.000-07:00

No outfit post today, but I do have a few things I wanted to bring to your attention, fair readers.

Firstly, the darling Vickie of Adventures In Fashion featured me in her Sunday Spotlight post! Check it out here. I'm so honored! ♥

Secondly, Nikki of Design Coyote is still offering super discounted blog designs of $50 especially for my readers. Details here! Get it quick, because this offer only lasts until April 1st.

And lastly, I'm still selling things in my Blog Shop. Buy them.

That's pretty much it, guys, hope you had an awesome weekend! I am now off to catch a matinee of Red Riding Hood, super excited!

Zombie Apocalypse

2011-03-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

All I can think about right now is The Walking Dead. One of my coworkers has been lending out his copies of the graphic novel and we're passing them around like crack. Usually I have a hard time reading comics or manga, unless they're in short strip form -- there's something about the combination of text and illustration that makes my eyes want to be everywhere at once and I can't follow it properly -- but I'm completely addicted to this series. The zombie thing is done to death, but The Walking Dead focuses more on human interaction than zombie-slaying, although there's plenty of that. Actually I think the characters are pretty much the most irrational, insane, emotionally-driven pile of fail ever, but they enthrall me. All I can think is, "What's gonna happen next? What crazy batshit stupid thing will they do next?!" You know you have a good story on your hands when that's the case.

I'm wearing: vintage blouse, F21 skirt and earrings, Target tights.

I've been thinking a lot about the Zombie Apocalypse now, naturally. I think the Apocalypse is a fascinating topic enough already, but add zombies to the mix... well, it's a recipe for super interesting. I have so many thoughts, ideas, and questions about a hypothetical zombie plague.

For instance, do you think the President would probably survive that shit? Unless he was the very first zombie, I'm willing to bet he'd be immediately flown out of there and holed up in a mountain somewhere with his family and secret service. I wonder what he'd do in his stronghold? Try to come up with a way to get rid of the zombies, or simply wait it out? You know he and other super important people would get out before the zombies completely overran the civilized world, so I wonder if they'd still be in communication.

Also I'd like to think I wouldn't be like one of those people who stops to rest right by a darkened hallway, or freaks out and is like, "Greg's still in there! That zombie could still have his soul inside, waiting to get out!" I'd just chop his zombie head off. There's no time for emotional nonsense in the Zombie Apocalypse.

Where would I go, though? I'd probably try to find a boat and live in that, to be honest. I'd just drift down the Willamette and then find my way to the ocean and go fishing. Zombies can't swim, I'm assuming, so Greg and I could just live on a little boat and get super tan and good at fishing.

I had other cool questions about the Zombie Apocalypse but I can't remember them. What would you guys do if a zombie plague erupted? What questions would you ask, aside from "why the hell are there suddenly zombies everywhere"?

Elbow Patches Rule

2011-03-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

As usual when my womanly moon cycle comes around, I feel an intense craving for baked goods and chocolate. Chocolate donuts in particular. I want donuts so much right now it hurts. When will they invent a zero-calorie donut? Or better yet, when will I become one of those people who loves to exercise? Never, for both, but I can't help but fantasize.

I'm wearing: Target dress and tights, H&M cardi, hat made by coworker.

Some of the people at work have been obsessed with making knit hats lately, and since my coworkers are awesome, one of the girls made this one for me! There's a lot of down time at work for us, so we often take up crafts or puzzles to make the time pass. I'm a fan of my iPhone for that purpose, but when playing Angry Birds for 8 hours straight the battery gets drained pretty quickly. Good thing I have my books, crosswords, and the interwebs!

Greg made sloppy joes last night, and they were the best sloppy joes ever. He made them from scratch, from a recipe I found online, and they were seriously delicious. I'm loving this whole Greg cooking dinner thing! Although according to him he's getting the better end of the deal, not having to pay for anything. I disagree. I'd rather pay for it and then have my dinner served to me every night. My life pretty much rules.

But SERIOUSLY I want a donut so badly right now!

Dandy Doo Dah

2011-03-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

I feel like a trillion bucks in this outfit. I've been "dressing up" more than usual lately, and my mood reflects the change. Bow ties, ascot blouses, girly skirts and heels are something I usually do only once in a while, but I'm feeling the need to be a dandy every day. Can you blame me? With spring in the air I want to frolic in an English village and drink tea and play my harp in the garden. I love spring so much -- it's my favorite season, and it seems to really have a heyday here in Portland. In Montana it seems like winter rolls directly into summer, and we never have much in between. But in Portland it's green, and rainy, and there are trees with blossoms and finches in the hedges outside my window. Total light jacket weather. I love it!

I'm wearing: Gee's blouse, F21 skirt, H&M cardi and necklace, Aldo shoes.

Yes, another new skirt! This one has hearts on! I love heart prints, I can't lie. I love heart prints. The subdued color of this skirt is perfect to me, because it has an exciting heart print, but it's not too girly or juvenile so I can still feel stately. Although to be honest I don't think I've ever once felt stately in my life.

I'm also wearing these shoes for the first time ever. They are SO GOOD. I ordered them on sale from Aldo, and holy crappity, they're the perfect wedge booties. They make me think of Robin Hood, for one; and then they've got this wedge that's not too high or too low, perfect for walking in. And the sole is weirdly soft so they don't click when I walk. Which I love! I like stealthing up on people like a rogue and then pickpocketing them... Well I would if I were a Night Elf rogue, just sayin'. Overall these shoes pass the Meg Test, and I will be wearing them much in the future!

Now I'm going to go grocery shopping with Greg, my amazing househusband, who has offered to cook whatever meals I want if I buy the ingredients. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, not gonna lie! So let's DO THIS.

Holy Crap I'm Wearing a Hat

2011-03-21T17:29:00.000-07:00

Well hello, blog! It feels as though it's been a century since I properly updated here, and it may as well have been. So much has happened! Okay... not a lot has happened, but enough that I actually have something to write about here.

Firstly, I just started writing over at the Blowfish Shoes B.Log, and you can read my first post here! I'm super excited about the whole thing, and I'm brimming with ideas (although none of them fully formed -- I need to sit down and have an ol' brainstorm with myself).

Secondly, I've posted more things in my Bloggity Shoppidy Doo Dah, as I've just decided to call it (though informally and only when in the right mood). There are a few dresses and skirts up, including a really cool vintage dress that I think somebody should buy and style up, because it's neat and it's too big for me otherwise I would. Anyway, go buy stuff because I have a shopping habit that needs feeding. MAY AS WELL BE FRANK.

I'm wearing: F21 skirt, top, and belt; H&M necklace and hat.

Thirdly, I BOUGHT A LOT OF STUFF YESTERDAY. As in... way too much stuff. Enough to fuel many upcoming blog posts, at any rate! Regardless, I'm super happy with my purchases, and I can't wait to show you what I blew my money on. Other than this outfit, of course, which is completely new, except for the tights and the earrings. I kind of love it a lot. The skirt will be a new staple, I can feel it, and the shirt is the most perfect impulse buy ever. I'm not sure about the hat -- I love the look of it, but I have such a giant head that I wonder if it looks like the hat is about to explode off my skull due to its uncanny mass? Things to consider. (Although, according to Sherlock Holmes, a big head equals massive intellect, no joke, so perhaps this means I am just really really smart.)

Fourthly, as you will know if you follow my twitter, I have an iPhone! It is... well I can't even put into words how amazing it is. I love it so much. I've named it Edmund, and it goes everywhere with me. I'm also addicted to Words With Friends, so if any of you want to get yo asses whooped to the ground by my English vocabulary skillz, my username is megsaucy. Add me! I'm also obsessed with Instagram, and my name is megsaucy on that as well, so if you want to see whatever random things I take pictures of throughout my dreary day, follow me there. I'll follow you back! Apps, I love them! Angry Birds, Plants vs. Zombies, some weird Tamagotchi thing I found and can't get rid of... love them!

So, it's been a while. How's everyone been? Awesome? Me too! ♥

Guest Post at The Upside of Wonder

2011-03-16T13:59:00.000-07:00

I did a blog post over The Upside of Wonder while Amanda has adventures in the nations capital! Check it out.

Guest Post at North Country Girl

2011-03-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

I've done a guest blog post over at North Country Girl, inspired by my favorite literary character. Check it out!

Cynicism Sucks

2011-03-13T12:29:00.000-07:00

All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

-Conan O'Brien

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.

-Oscar Wilde

I'm wearing: Amanda's top, F21 skirt, second hand belt and shoes.

I've been disappointed in a lot of my fellow human beings lately. I won't go into specifics, but I'm tired of seeing people experience less of the world than they could because they let themselves be limited by "realism" (another word for cynicism, in my opinion). I'm tired of seeing people take advantage of one another, cut each other down, and not be open and honest in all things. It frustrates me to no end. Why would you construct a shell of negativity around yourself? Why would you go out of your way to hurt someone, or to make their life harder in any capacity?

I may not be the most happy-go-lucky, optimistic person in the world every day of my life. I tend to be hard on myself, or worry that things will go as badly as possible in many situations. But when it comes to the inherent good and love in every human being, when it comes to trusting that people will do the right thing in general, and when it comes to expecting people to treat one another with respect and dignity, you could call me idealistic. Sure, but I'd rather live by a set of ideals than by the crushed hopes of the cynical.

I could go on and on about this, but I won't, because it'll just get me down. Today, I'm going to be happy and enjoy life's little things, and ignore the rest of them. The cynics and the assholes and all negativity in general can just bugger off!

Vlog III

2011-03-12T18:29:00.000-08:00

I decided to make a video of myself basically having a fangirl fest about London. I don't know... I didn't have anything else to talk about! LONDON! ♥

Ruffleupagus

2011-03-09T18:33:00.000-08:00

Today it's ruffle mania, seemingly! Check out my sweet ruffles. I'll ruffle all up in yo grill. I'm a ruffle master. Yeah I totally love my outfit today! It's all ruffle-y! And it has red. Red is my favorite color but there's not enough of it in my wardrobe, and after all of your sweet comments on my last outfit post, I think it's high time I remedied that! I have a billion red accessories (hat, bag, scarf, blazer, shoes, belt), but only 2 red dresses and a red skirt. A travesty that must be set to rights.

I'm wearing: Heather's skirt, F21 belt and dress worn as top, H&M necklace.

Today has been a week of paradoxes. Not only have I been rereading the delectable Paradox Series (Sherlock fic aw yeah), but this week has seemed to crawl past, whereas the hours in the day go by quickly. It's like, "Holy crap it's already 3:00?" and then, "Aw naw it's only Wednesday?" in the same breath. I don't get it, and therefore I am frustrated with it. Damn you, time, why must you torment me so?

Greg's going out of town for the weekend starting tomorrow, and therefore I have a bunch of activities planned to entertain myself while he's gone. Tomorrow I'm watching Bridget Jones' Diary (Colin Firth!), and then all weekend I'm going to be social, it's crazy! I'm kind of excited, though. I may actually do some cleaning as well. Truly a weekend of paradoxes. I never clean.

I also hope you kids enjoyed that picture of Matt Smith as the Doctor in my last post. I sure did. Bow ties are cool.

Design Coyote Blog Designs

2011-03-08T18:38:00.000-08:00

Yo what's up, blogosphere? ...Other than gratuitous Matt Smith. Having a wonderful Tuesday, I hope! My Tuesday has been absolutely outstanding, especially now that I'm home watching Sherlock and eating chocolate digestives. Ah, life is grand.

That said, I wanted to take a moment to share something pretty cool with you guys! My friend Nikki, whom I've known since before the beginning of the internet it seems, is an incredible web designer and has been since I knew her. She's the one who created this awesome layout for my blog, which I completely love, and which is exactly what I had in mind for ages with my blog but could never pull off myself. She runs her own design site, Design Coyote, where you can learn more about her designs.

So, Nikki and I had a top secret online bestie conference, and decided we'd love to offer my readers a special deal for custom blog designs! What Nikki is offering is:

♥ $50 blog designs by Nikki! (custom banner, background, fonts, and colors)
♥ Lasts until April 1st.
♥ One-time deal with small revisions.
♥ Check out Nikki's portfolio here, for an idea of what else she can do (but remember, this deal only applies to a simple blog design with the elements listed above).

Nikki has been ridiculously generous in doing this, not gonna lie, usually she is much more expensive -- her designs are awesome. So get it while it lasts! It's totally worth it.

To get your custom blog design, you must fill out THIS FORM and in the "referred by" field, put "Meg" or "Bow Ties Are Cool". Fill out the quote form as much as you can to give an idea of what you want, but ignore the Project/Budget fields. You also must be on Blogger to get the discount.

This is a pretty sweet deal, and Nikki is a dream to work with, so begone, get a custom blog design!

Beau Brummell

2011-03-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

Today has been one big fangirl moment for me. I mean that in the lamest of ways. I dragged myself reluctantly onto tumblr, because I was craving Benedict Cumberbatch, when lo and behold I found tumblr interesting again! I haven't been on tumblr regularly in months, so this was a pleasant surprise. I spent most of my day scrolling through pictures of David Tennant, Matt Smith, BCumbz, and like... other hot Brits. 'Twas quite enjoyable.

Fitting, then, that this outfit should make me think of Beau Brummell, the exemplary English dandy of his time. I know I don't look like much of a dandy (my clothes weren't tailored specifically for me, after all, and I lack a crisp cravat and riding boots) but the spirit is the same. I felt like a fop all day in this outfit, so I'd call that a win.

I'm wearing: H&M dress, Target tights, Tulle coat via ModCloth, necklace from Mom.

I wish I'd gotten a picture of my shoes. In my haste I totally forgot, but they were my black and white oxfords from Aldo, seen here. Dem shoes!

Lately I'm torn between reading The Wise Man's Fear (which gets better every time I turn the page, I swear), watching Sherlock for the millionth time, and blissing out on the new Shiny Toy Guns single, "The Sun". Maybe I'll do all three and die of an awesome overdose!

I would also like to point out, perhaps (yes) belatedly, that Wardrobe Wanderlust has a facebook page! As you can see there's a shweet li'l button in the top right of my blog over there. Click it! It'll take you to our facebook, and you should probs "like" us or whatever you do with facebook pages. You can see how we all style each other's stuff, it's neat.

And now I'm going to go do some preemptive outfit photo-taking! Aha, world, you shan't foil me that easily.

Servebot

2011-03-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

Greg came up with the title of this post. idk

I don't know what I think of this dress. I got it from ModCloth's Cabin Fever sale, but after trying it on, I'm ambivalent. I love the look of it, I think it's darling, but I'm not sure "darling" is quite what I'm going for with my style. It's also got this awful tight elastic sleeves that are pretty uncomfortable. I'd say I have pretty small arms, at least average sized, so the fact that the elastic on these sleeves is almost cutting off my circulation seems rather ridiculous. I'm considering altering it somehow, but I don't know how I'd do it! We'll see. Anyway, I just don't know about this dress. I'm going to keep it, for sure, but I'm still mulling it over in my mind... maybe I can find a way to style it that makes me feel more comfortable. I don't really want to look like a 12-year-old from 1910, surprisingly!

I'm wearing: ModCloth dress, Target tights, Vintage Crown shoes via DSW.

My weekend has been deliciously relaxing so far. Last night I watched The Ruby in the Smoke due to Matt Smith being in it, and it turned out to be one of those movies that I would've loved as a kid but was a bit boring as an "adult". The most enjoyable parts were the parts with Matt Smith, NOT GONNA LIE. Still, if you love Matt Smith as much as I do, it's worth a watch!

If you're into reading, on the other hand, I more than recommend the Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss. Seriously, you guys. I love those fat fantasy novels, but these books are beyond awesome. It takes a lot for me to get really engaged in a book nowadays, but The Name of the Wind and now The Wise Man's Fear are the best books I've read in many years. Not since Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell have I enjoyed a fantasy novel this much. Even if you don't like fantasy, the story and character development in these books is more than enough reason to read them. And they're funny, too. I've been lolling so much while reading The Wise Man's Fear! Read these books, they are amazing!

Now I need to figure out something to do for the rest of my day. Although I'll probably just end up reading, considering I have like 700 pages left to digest. Yay!

Debbie Downer

2011-03-02T17:29:00.000-08:00

This outfit is from yesterday, and I meant to write this post earlier today, but I got an awful migraine halfway through the day and could barely focus on my job, let alone a blog post. This headache was partially due to a fraudulent charge that I found on my bank statement and the fact that I had to close my debit card, and partially due to a whole pile of other stress in my life that would be boring to go on about. Then I returned home to a notice that my ModCloth package had arrived but they didn't receive a signature, so they didn't leave it by the door like the other two packages that I received today. So that was super lame, and I'll have to wait 'til tomorrow to get my new things. Sigh.

I know, I'm a complete downer! But sometimes life is just too much. I'm worried I'll make myself sick just dwelling on everything. Too many things to think about!

I'm wearing: H&M skirt and cardi, Target t-shirt, F21 earrings, necklace from Mom.

I'm the Queen of wearing things multiple times, apparently. I feel like all I ever wear is this skirt! I really like it, though. The green is great because it acts like a neutral, but it has this really cool gold beaded waistband that makes it exciting. I dunno. I like it! I pretty much just threw this outfit together at the last second but it turned out well I think.

Tonight Greg and I are driving to the Powell's bookstore in Beaverton for a Patrick Rothfuss signing! His new book The Wise Man's Fear (second in a series after The Name of the Wind) came out yesterday, and I cannot wait to start reading it. It'll be super amazing to meet the author in person and get a signed copy! I've never met any of my favorite authors before, so it'll be a fun new experience. Debating whether I want to try to get a photo with him, though... I totally would but my camera is problematic and I'm worried I'll embarrass myself! Bah.

I can't wait for the weekend. I have so many things I need to get done! If you've bought anything from my shop, please be patient -- I may not be able to mail the packages until tomorrow. I have them all ready to go, but Life, it happens, and I seriously don't know if I can even make it to the post office before the signing tonight. Tomorrow, at the latest!

Okay well this has been a bit of a downer post, but guess what movie comes from Netflix tomorrow? Doom!

I'll Put a Move On You

2011-02-25T12:40:00.000-08:00

I can't think of anything to say today. It's Friday and I plan to sit at home after work and watch tv or movies and not move. That's all I can think about right now. Friday.

I'm wearing: F21 dress and hat, H&M cardi, Target scarf.

This is one of my favorite outfits lately. I love that it's casual but it made me feel cute all day. I need to get more dresses that I love and more cropped cardigans. And more berets. I'm tired of all my dresses! Who wants all my damn floral dresses?! I seriously don't want them. I should just sell a random grab-bag of my dresses and use the money to buy new ones. So annoying! I'm also annoyed with all my long cardigans -- they make me look frumpy and they make my ass look big. Boo. Annoyed with all my clothes right now can you tell?

Anyway. Next week my mom will be here and we can go shopping together. I mustn't spend my fun money until then! Must... delay gratification...

This is the most boring post EVER, I need to stop now. Woo hoo, it's Friday!

Shop bow ties are cool!

2011-02-24T17:47:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to let you kidlets know that my blog shop is up and running! Go check it out. There are only a few items posted right now, but I plan to add more in the next few days. w00t!

Awesome Week in Meg Land

2011-02-24T15:07:00.000-08:00

Ah, the joys of diet Coke. Did you know, I'm legitimately addicted to pop? As in, if the fridge at work runs dry and the Coke truck hasn't come yet, I start to have a minor panic attack. Water isn't the same, and tea is too warm and un-bubbly. Coke, or Pepsi, or Dr Pepper -- those are my drugs. Or my anti-drugs, if you want to be After School Special about it. Who needs cocaine when you have good old-fashioned Coca-Cola? Yeah I know once Coke had cocaine in it, blah blah maybe it still does and that's why I'm so addicted. I love it enough to write an entire paragraph about it in my blog, apparently. Mmmm diet Coke.

I'm wearing: Old Navy skirt, H&M blouse and cardigan, F21 belt (came with a skirt).

Wore this outfit yesterday. I love this sweater, but I always plan outfits around it completely forgetting that it's too big for me. Frustrating! I got a small and it's just baggy. I'm definitely putting this one in my future blog shop, so keep an eye out.

I'd also like to "announce" that I was accepted to the Brunel University Creative Writing Novels MA program! I am beyond happy and could just pee myself with excitement. So yesterday I ordered a bunch of stuff from the ModCloth sale as a reward! ...Okay admittedly I ordered it before I heard from Brunel, but this is how I'm justifying buying a coat, a dress, and gloves before payday. Seriously though, with sale prices like that you can't expect me not to buy something.

Also it's snowing in Portland, which makes me happier than I can say. Overall it's been a pretty awesome week in Meg land! ♥

Frump-O-Rama

2011-02-23T13:06:00.000-08:00

So I have a question for you guys. If I were to start a blog shop, one of those "shop my closet" things, would it be an awesome thing, or a kind of omg why is she jumping on the bandwagon thing? I love it when bloggers open little shops, but you never know, so I figure some feedback would be good. I really need to get rid of a lot of the clothes I no longer wear, so I figure I could offer them up for cheapo to you guys. Thoughts?

I'm wearing: F21 skirt, Heather's sweater, Hot Topic t-shirt, necklace and earrings from Mom.

I dressed like a total frump on Monday. I wasn't going to even post these, but I feel like a blogging slacker, so I am going to anyway. The only thing I could think when looking at these was "omg I need to learn about makeup." Seriously. I mean, not crazy makeup with bronzer and fifty layers of foundation, but at least... something to make me look like I didn't just wake up from a thousand-year sleep in my sarcophagus. Or something to make me look not twelve. My glasses do a lovely job of hiding my ineptitude, but sometimes I just don't want to wear them in photos, and then what?

I watched The Social Network with Greg a few days ago. It turned out to be pretty awesome! I never thought a movie about Facebook could be so intriguing. Have you guys seen it? What did you think?

I Am Electro Girl

2011-02-21T17:09:00.000-08:00

I crave tater tots. I'm trying to eat better, as the past week has had a milieu of decadence, but I still crave tater tots. I'm terrified to look at my bank statement tomorrow when all my debit purchases go through.

Yes I really wanted to use the word "milieu;" I probably utterly misused it; please do not hate me.

I'm wearing: H&M skirt, UO cardi, Old Navy tank, Blowfish shoes.

I wore this outfit way back on Saturday. I'm getting more and more behind on my posts! Don't worry, I'll catch up eventually. Or fall behind, whichever way you look at it. Anyway I got my hair cut that day and these were taken after the fact. I know, it looks pretty much the same! It's okay, I just wanted more texture and volume, which seems to be what I got. I also got a decent bang trim, huzzah! I need to keep up with that and go in regularly for a free trim. It's awful when I do it myself.

Greg's hair turned out super cute, but you can't really see it in the following photo. Oh well. Behold, we differ greatly in height!

Put a Bird On It

2011-02-19T16:10:00.000-08:00

I worry a lot. This is not a new thing. However, my latest worry is that I'm becoming an alcoholic. I believe this fear was instilled in me by my dear mother, who I love more than anything, but who probably worries even more than I do at times, and once gave me the impression that if I ever once tried hard alcohol that I'd quickly begin the downward spiral into the blissful oblivion of lush-dom. So now, whenever I have a beer with dinner just because I like the taste of beer now, I'm filled with a vague terror: Does this mean I'm an alcoholic?

I voiced my concerns to Greg, who promptly laughed at me. "Get drunk every night for a few weeks in a row, then we'll have a talk," he said. "You're not an alcoholic, you're just normal." When I told my friends Rose and Matt about my worries, Matt said, "I think that just means you're becoming a Portlander." So this whole pint-with-dinner thing... is normal? I'm not going to wake up one morning in the gutter, covered in rat feces, wondering how I got there and why all my dollar bills are gone?

I do like beer though, especially microbrews. I wish there were more Montana brews on tap here. I'd like a good Cold Smoke once in a while -- that stuff was strong! Delicious, yet strong.

I'm wearing: F21 dress and belt, H&M cardi and necklace.

I wore this outfit yesterday, and I think it's one of my favorites ever. I felt awesome all day, which always means I've chosen well outfit-wise. All of these items are pretty new, the dress being the newest. I saw it back in December at the Washington Square F21, but they didn't have my size. I kept thinking about it (peter pan collar and stripes, yes please), and finally found it on sale on the F21 website for $8.99! Obviously I had to order it. I love it to death, and I think I will get a lot of wear out of it! (You can find it here, still on sale, although it's listed as a "tunic"... apparently I am super short and wear shirts as dresses now.)

I also got this sweater on sale, on impulse, and I love it already. The color is not something I'd usually go for, but the black bird print sold me on it. Reminds me of the Portlandia sketch "Put a Bird On It!" Greg is horrified by Portlandia -- it's a bit too close to reality for him, considering he's already put off by the whole hipster, trendy vibe of Portland. He says it's too realistic to be funny, which I think is hilarious!

My new favorite color combination, I've decided, is black/white/this color (light peach?). Or like a light mauve, or taupe. Yeah, taupe. I like taupe. Put a bird on it!

So Much Love

2011-02-17T18:32:00.000-08:00

Can I just say, I have the Best Friends In The World. I really do. Everybody I know from blogging, on twitter, livejournal, and at work and RL, they are amazing. You are amazing. You've all made me feel a billion times better about not getting into City University London (see my twitter for me being an emo emo-pants about it), and I am just... so happy to know so many sweet, loving, supportive, and beautiful people.

I also feel a thousand times better because Greg took me to the Horse Brass Pub, where I got fish & chips and a pint of imported English cider. Just what I needed after a hard day.

I'm wearing: F21 dress and earrings, H&M cardi, Target necklace, GoJane shoes.

This is what I wore on Valentine's Day. I didn't take pictures on the day, so I had to recreate the outfit yesterday. In the spirit of V-Day, though, I'd like to give a little shout-out to my favorite person Greg. He is the best at life. His hugs are enveloping and warm, his laugh is infectious, his words are always supportive and full of reason and logic, and his stubble feels adorably scratchy on my face. I love you, Greg. I love you more than I can ever put into words. But just know that if the world were about to implode and I had to rip out my own heart with my bare hands and throw it into the void just to save your life, I would. I would do it without a thought. You are incredible and I'm so happy to have spent four amazing Valentine's Days with you! ♥

It Liiiiivvves

2011-02-16T20:10:00.000-08:00

O HAI THAR. What have I become? I haven't updated my blog in a week. I feel like an epic failure of a blogger. It's not to say I haven't been busy, though. Busy socializing, apparently, which is weird for me since usually I'm such a hermit. I've been going out to lunch at work a lot, and then my entire weekend was pretty much spent recovering from my Friday night escapades. Blogging is hard when your brain won't work, let alone you can't get out of your PJs in order to look good for photos. Nope, the couch was my best friend on Saturday, and then Sunday was spent trekking through Washington Square Mall with Ashleigh, buying too many clothes and a pretzel to boot. After that I was much too exhausted to do anything but sit on my ass.

And then all of a sudden it was Valentine's Day! Or Venereal Disease (VD), if you want to call it that. I kind of do. I had an awesome evening with Greg, in which we made beef stroganoff and then pigged out while watching Reign of Fire streaming on Netflix. I will never stop being amazed and overjoyed by the glory that is Netflix instant watch.

I'm wearing: F21 skirt and sweater, H&M t-shirt and necklace.

Apparently I dyed my hair! Yes, yes I did. I've actually had the box of hair dye lying around for months now, probably about six months, but I am obviously too lazy to do anything until the last second, so I dyed my hair on Sunday. I love it. It's the same color I dyed it back in June, but I like it a lot more now than I did then. It makes me look so pale, which for some reason appeals to me greatly.

I've also scheduled haircuts for Greg and myself at the same time on Saturday morning, and I'm super excited! I'm not going to get mine cut any shorter than it is, just a tiny trim and then lots of layers/texture. I want my hair to be as floofy as physically and humanly possible.

I'm trying to come up with a cute, low-maintenance haircut for Greg to get. I really want him to do something other than the basic really-short-all-over thing, which he always gets. I've been browsing Lookbook for ideas, but he says they're all too "emo" whatever that means, so I'm curious -- how do your boyfriends and boy friends get their hair cut? What's a cool way I can request to have Greg's hair done so he looks like a sexy modern geek man? Also he never styles his hair. HELP? I'm lost on this one.

Anyhow, tomorrow I'll be posting my outfit from Venereal Disease. I liked it lots. You will too! I hope.

Also, please continue to send good vibes, thoughts, and prayers my way for grad school. I've submitted all of my applications and it's only a matter of waiting now. London!

Living the Dream

2011-02-09T20:00:00.000-08:00

As I was driving away from the Smart Park today, gazing lustfully at the H&M display windows, I realized: I am living the Dream. Yes, the Dream with a capital D. Here I am, in a city I love, having pints with a friend I love, eating mac & cheese that I love, driving home to a boyfriend I love, to get all comfy in an apartment I love, all while supporting myself and I did it all on my own. I am a Goddess.

Okay, that's not to say I didn't get help, because I did. I couldn't have done it without my parents, my friends, and most of all Greg, who is as always my greatest supporter and best friend. But seriously, guys. I moved to Portland. I now live in a city that has more than one Thai restaurant (there are five billion in the Hawthorne district in fact, look it up), an H&M, tall buildings, 28 breweries, my two best friends, and fucking awesome weather (aside from the lack of snow). And I did it all myself. And I have a job I actually like, and it's all thanks to ME! I'm applying for grad schools, and it's because I FELT LIKE IT. I am... truly... amazing.

I'm wearing: Gap blouse and bow tie, Old Navy skirt, Alyssa's sweater.

We can all be Goddesses. Let's not be held back by what we think we can do, nor by what we think we should do. Do what you want! Achieve what you want. Don't let the "should" and "shouldn't" and "couldn't" and "wouldn't" get in the way. I'm serious. I've also had a pint on very little food, but I'm still serious. I told myself I couldn't and shouldn't apply for schools in London because I was "settling down" and I didn't want to leave Greg behind, etc., etc. But Greg made me realize: I can. There's nothing holding me back but the mindset that I should be doing a certain thing at a certain time. IT'S NOT TRUE. Do whatever the HELL you want, you crazy bastards!

And thus, what I wanted to do today was to wear a girl's version of a bow tie. So I did. I knew this weird scarf/headband/belt/tie from the Gap would come in handy one day! Bow ties, as you all know, are very... very cool.

Welcome, Scarf

2011-02-08T16:56:00.000-08:00

This silly scarf! I've been meaning to wear it in many an outfit post before this, as I wear it every morning to work, but by the time I'm home the scarf is ensconced somewhere in the vortex of my giant vagina-purse (ask Greg about that one), and I've thoroughly forgotten about it. Anyway, today this dress was begging to be Christmas-ified with a red plaid scarf. When I tried to tell the dress it wasn't Christmastime anymore, however, it wouldn't listen and in a fit of rebellion spilled coffee grounds all over the floor. Luckily it spilled them in the kitchen, so I was able to clean up quickly, but the dress won't be getting its way so easily in the future. YOU HEAR THAT DRESS? No more "Christmassy" looks for you. [Disclaimer: the dress did not actually spill coffee grounds. Nobody did. I made it up. I'm not actually schizophrenic or something. Or am I...]

I'm wearing: Target dress and scarf, necklace from Mom, H&M cardigan, F21 earrings.

Last night I watched the first two episodes of Sherlock while working on grad school application stuff and dicking around on the internet. I don't even want to count how many times I've seen it. It's kind of ridiculous, but it doesn't get old for me! And I like to just have it as background ambiance. There are many movies I like to have on as background ambiance. A Knight's Tale is an old favorite, especially with the commentary on. I think I know the commentary better than I know the movie itself. Pride & Prejudice is a regular standby, as is Emma. Gotta love those Jane Austen adaptations. What movies can you watch over and over and over without wanting to pop your eyes out with a spoon?

So I am going to have to wait until February 22nd to get an iPhone, but that's okay, because I'm an adult and I can wait patiently for awesome things. ...No, that's a lie, I can't wait for things and I am dying of impatience. Want iPhone Now! WANT iPHONE NOW (even in capslock, the "i" must be lowercase!).

Well well well well. The next movie on our Netflix queue is Get Him to the Greek, which I thought was about frat houses until a few days ago. It's a pleasant surprise to be wrong in this case. I can't think of another case when it would be pleasant to be wrong, however. Being right is kind of my thing.

What is next in your Netflix queue? Anything badass I should check out on instant watch? Wait I take that back -- I'm meant to be watching Gavin and Stacey next. So I guess don't recommend anything or I will NEVER WATCH IT.

Now for something completely different

2011-02-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

I didn't take outfit photos today, so let's enjoy a little blast from the past with photos from my trip to Germany and Italy in 2007! I don't really look at them much, as I was there with my boyfriend of the time, now ex boyfriend, so it's rather.. weird for me to think about that trip. Which is unfortunate, as it was pretty amazing. I'm never traveling with a boyfriend again! Girl friends and husbands only.

We visited my friend Emily for a few days in Trier, Germany, where she was studying abroad. It was by far my favorite part of the trip. From now on I'm going to try to stay with people I know when visiting new places. It's always more fun to see a strange city through familiar eyes -- you see and experience things you'd never have discovered otherwise.

I can't wait to be that person for my friends when I'm living in London. They'll come to visit me and I'll show them around, take them to the pubs, explain the culture. I can't think about it too hard or my stomach will fly out of my ears.

Thanks to those who encouraged me to get an iPhone in the last post -- I think I'll be getting one pretty soon here! Giddy giddy joy!

Pooper Bowl

2011-02-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

Can I just say... the movie Troy is awful. I've watched the beginning of it twice now over the years, and I didn't even make it to Hector's death the second time. SO BORING. The only likable character is Hector, and he bites the dust immediately, so basically we get little girl Paris and epic douche Achilles, doing man things for three hours. I don't even know, because I've never finished the movie. All I know is that Josh Groban sings during the credits, uuugh, why must it be such a dreadful movie!

I don't know why I'm talking about Troy in a "style blog" but there you go. Just a little thing we like to do here: talk about completely irrelevant crap. (And yes Troy was Greg's Netflix pick, I take no responsibility!)

I'm wearing: H&M everything.

I swear, I'm a walking advertisement for H&M. It's not my fault! I love their stuff so much. I'm trying really hard not to spend my San Diego Comic-Con money on shopping there (oh yeah by the way SDCC sold out -- epic fail)... don't worry though, I won't. I'm probably going to use it to visit my mom in Missoula this summer, and maybe get an iPhone. I don't know though! Should I get an iPhone? You'll never convince me there's a cooler non-Apple phone out there, but should I spend my money on it is the question. Those smartphone plans are the worst and strike a paralyzing fear into the recesses of my soul, though. Who has a smartphone on Verizon? Any words of wisdom? Is it really like $90/month? Yuck.

So I've been listening to a lot of Mumford and Sons lately, as recommended by my mom. I'm really loving "Winter Winds" and "Little Lion Man" especially. I also re-acquainted myself with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, which have been on repeat lately. Patrick Wolf is coming out with a new album painfully soon here, and if I'm guessing correctly (I'd better be!), Shiny Toy Guns are coming out with a new album as well. I fucking hope. Their facebook keeps updating with weird cryptic messages, and their website has a countdown with only a few days left on it, so...! This could mean a new album! I would pee myself with joy. I've yet to listen to the new Decemberists album though, which is pretty fail of me. I've seen them three times in concert, so what kind of fan am I? I'll answer that for you. A lame one.

Anyway what kind of music do you nerds listen to? I'm making myself sound like kind of an indie fart, but I don't just listen to hipster trendy stuff (I... don't think I do anyway). My favorite band ever is Jethro Tull. Effing love them. As in, I'm going to get a tattoo of their lyrics at some point. Any bands you love so much you'd tattoo them onto yourself permanently? What lyric would be on your skin forever? My first tattoo is going to be a Stargate, though. Beat that.